


Gun's 'N Roses

by PAPERSK1N



Series: Guns 'N Roses [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - GTA, Angst, Based on the heists, Dark Past, F/M, GTAV AU, Gangs, Gen, Heist AU, Injury, LLLETS HEIST, M/M, Robbery, Ryan's Heist, Secrets, Smut, Trust, Weapons, and murder, gang crime, jack/geoff - friendship, obviously, some violence, unhealthy relationships ftw, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-02-14 22:35:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2205525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PAPERSK1N/pseuds/PAPERSK1N
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out of the blue, after one year of silence, Ryan returns. And he returns with a proposition. A proposition, that requires the Fake AH crew to re-form.</p><p>But things were never just going to be as easy as that, were they?</p><p>Trust is destroyed, hearts are broken and then strung back together, and somehow- in the middle of all of this, a heist is planned.</p><p>But nothing in Los Santos is ever actually that simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Re-Return

**Author's Note:**

> Yay for GTA AU's. This one's been in the works for a while, and I finally got around to positing. I actually have 80% of this story written, so I should be able to update chapters every other day or so. Kudos ect appreciated!

Chapter One: Re-Return

The new TV in their motel-of-the month was a plastic piece of shit with a cracked screen and a suspicious smokey smell surrounding it. The picture crackled and hissed, and Jack had found himself having to smack it from the top several times, just to ensure he could make out the screen enough to play Trials. He didn't think connecting his Xbox to it had helped at all, and silently prayed the dated outlets weren’t frying his input cables.

But then, that was what you got from a motel that rented rooms by the hour.

Geoff emerged from the bathroom clad only in a pair of boxers and a navy vest, and flopped down on the bed nearest the window. It was an old habit. You always pick a place to sleep where you’ve got the easiest escape. Jack would sometimes mock him for it, but Geoff would always snap back, reminding Jack that he had plenty old habits of his own. Every time they moved, he would rent a room on the ground floor, closest to the fire escape. Easiest exit in case they got into any trouble.

But Jack and Geoff didn't get into trouble anymore. Unless you counted minor credit card fraud, which they didn't.

Jack sighed, switching the hissing television off. He approached the free bed, by the bathroom door.

“TV’s busted.” He announced as he sat down, scratching lightly at the top of his head. “Nothing else to do, so we may as well go to sleep.”

“Keep your voice down.” Geoff said, but his command came out as more of a pained whine than anything mildly threatening. “I’ve got the worst fucking headache in the world.”

“Shouldn’t have drank so much then, should you?” Jack muttered under his breath as he leant his head against the wall.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Fine.” Geoff said, before turning over so his back was to Jack. “I’m going t’sleep. Gonna try and sleep off this fucking hangover.”

“Sweet dreams.”

Jack reached over to flick the light switch off, but, just as his finger came into contact with the plastic there was a knock at the door.

“Who the fuck is that?” he asked aloud, more to himself than Geoff, who’s eyes were barely open as he turned to glance at the door.

“I don’t know, I don’t have X-ray fucking vision. Answer it.” Geoff snapped. Jack sighed as he stood up, curing under his breath. He pulled a small handgun out of his duffel bag on the floor, and approached it slowly. He kept the gun behind his back as he unclicked the lock, and opened the door slowly.

_It’s probably just room service, right?_

But what kind of room service just swung by in the dead of the night?

Jack pulled the door open slowly, but another hand pressed harder, swinging the door wide open. Jack’s gun came out immediately, as he scrambled to push his glasses back onto his face, ignoring Geoff’s gasp. He blinked a few times, and then looked up to the intruder.

And then, for the first time in over twenty years, Jack’s gun began to shake in his hands.

Ryan grinned at the pair of them from where he stood in the doorframe. “Geoff, Jack- why, you guys look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

oOo

“You fucking asshole… you’re a fucking _asshole!_ ” Geoff yelled as he paced up and down the room, in front of Ryan, who sat on the sofa like a scolded child.

“Geoff, please, let’s sit down and talk about this like adu-”

Geoff lurched at Ryan, pressing his gun to the underside of the man’s jaw. “Sit down? You expect me to sit down and fucking _talk?!_ After _everything_ you’ve put us through?!” he asked with a shout, pushing the gun harder into Ryan’s jaw. “Shit- Ryan, we thought you were fucking dead!”

“I know.” Ryan said, teeth gritted. His eyes remained locked with Geoff, and he didn't dare blink. He knew Geoff didn't bluff, and he would shoot him where he sat. After all, Ryan deserved it. “And that was wrong of me,” he continued. “But I’m here to make things right. Please Geoff, just- just put the gun down.” Geoff inhaled deeply, displaying his anger, but Ryan felt the pressure on his jaw deplete slightly, as Geoff’s grip on the gun loosened. Slowly, he pulled it away from Ryan’s face, but his firearm didn't leave his hand.

“And, could you at least put some pants on? I’m kinda eye-level with your junk, buddy.”

But Geoff’s face didn't twitch into that friendly smile that Ryan was used to. He did, however, sit back into the dusty motel armchair, and placed the gun gently on the table. A silence rang through the room as Ryan, Geoff, and Jack all sat around the coffee table. Ryan didn't dare speak. Neither did Jack, eyes trained on Geoff. The older man could be unpredictable, and was either about to explode, or implode. Jack wasn’t sure which he'd prefer right now.

Geoff took in another sharp breath.

“One year.” He said voice shaking as he locked eyes with Ryan again. “One year… we thought you were dead. We _all_ thought you were dead. And now you just… show up again, out of the blue? And we’re supposed to what- _trust you_?”

“Geoff, listen, I-”

“No Ryan, you fucking listen! You- fucking Ray- he…” Geoff took another deep breath, ignoring Jack’s concerned gaze. He needed to stay calm. He needed to _not_ slit Ryan’s throat. “That kid-Ryan, what you did! I don’t know how you can show your face.”

“Don’t you think I’ve thought that too!” Ryan suddenly snapped, wringing his fingers together. “Why do you think it took me a year to even show up here? Every night- every _God damn night_ I see his face. That look, in his eye- that _fear._ That fear, of _me,_ Geoff- I can barely close my eyes without seeing that fucking _fear._ ”

“So why did you!” Geoff shouted, volume matching Ryan’s. “Why did you fucking come back in the first place, huh?”

“Forgiveness?” Ryan tried. Geoff scoffed, and even Jack cracked a smile.

“Not really your style though, is it Ryan? The amount of times you’ve double crossed us, I should shoot you where you fucking sit- but I won't. Not yet. First tell me why you're here- and no bullshit!”

Ryan sighed, laying his head in his hands and shaking it. “So, there’s this job.”

Jack tutted. “That’s you all over, isn’t it Ryan? Always after the next target, the next goal. And what, you want us to help you? Please!”

“Not just you.” Ryan explained. “It’s-it’s a six-man job.”

Geoff actually laughed out loud. “You think- you think those _kids_ are gonna just hear your fucking call and come running back here? For this fucking job? Ryan, they could be hallway across the globe for all we know!”

“You mean, you don’t have any contact with them?!” Ryan asked incredulously. “Seriously Geoff- the lads, they can't survive out there on their own. And you just let them go?! How irresponsib-”

“Oh I’m the irresponsible one? Really?!” Geoff yelled. “After that heist, Ryan, thanks to you- they ran like fucking rats! They were probably all terrified, and none more than Ray! Terrified of _you_. Nobody even saw Ray come out of the tunnels, and that kid- he knows how to disappear… and you really think I’d let Michael and Gavin go on their own? Their signal was down quicker than I could blink! By the time I got there- all that was left was the fucking skid marks of the adder.” Geoff was shaking with anger, his eyes glossy with tears. Neither Jack nor Ryan said anything, and Geoff sniffed, trying to calm himself. “I don’t know where any of them are. I-we tried to contact them ourselves but… we couldn’t find them. They could be anywhere.”

There was a short silence, and Geoff reached into the minibar next to him, pulling out a bottle of overpriced beer. He popped the cap on the side of the table, and chugged half the bottle. Jack sighed, but made no comment.

“This is why we need them, Geoff.” Ryan said, his voice a lot softer as he meant forwards, arms resting on his knees. “God knows I regret _everything_ that happened that night, but you need to realise that still, even now- one year later… you need them. We need them.”

“How’d you even do it, anyway?” Geoff asked. “How’d you get out alive?”

“Ray’s quick.” Ryan said leaning back into te chair and pulling down his shirt from his neckline to reveal a bullet scar on his chest, just above his heart, “But so am I.”

Geoff raised his eyebrows, but made no effort to comment, eyes lingering on the scar for a moment, before Ryan pulled up his T-shirt and zipped up his jacket. Then, he leant back a little, and thought about his options. Ryan raised good points. And this job… could this be the job that brought them all back together? Geoff wouldn’t hold his breath but… there wasn’t any harm in trying, he supposed.

“First thing we gotta do is track them down.” He said. Ryan sat up, smiling wider than he had in a long time.

“So you’ll do it?” he asked. Geoff didn't reply. Instead, he turned to Jack.

“Call Kerry.”

oOo

Kerry Shawcross was a man of simple tastes. Light beer. Anime cartoons. Video games. And fucking money.

So when Jack fucking Pattillo called him up, requesting his presence immediately for the first time in a year, he didn't exactly hesitate.

He made it round to the motel in fifteen minutes, walked straight in without bothering with a hello or any other pleasantries. He never needed to in the past, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to start now. He laid his case on the table, and immediately fired up his laptop without making any eye contact.

Ryan smirked at the hacker. Kerry was older than before, he had to be at least twenty three now, but he still looked like a kid. He wore cargo shorts and a bright t-shirt with a (probably) geeky reference on it that Ryan didn't understand, despite the cool weather down in Austin. He had the same haircut, wispy sand-coloured locks that hung just at the edge of his forehead and by his ears. Maybe Geoff and Jack had changed. Maybe the lads had changed. But Kerry hadn’t changed.

“Hello, Kerry.” He said with a grin, his voice taking on a more sinister undertone. Maybe this whole ‘should be dead’ thing did have an advantage if it meant he could momentarily shock the people he was close with.

“Hey Ryan.” Kerry said flatly, not breaking eye contact with his laptop. Ryan’s smile faltered.

“Uh-”

“I said hey, what more do you want?” Kerry asked, glancing up momentarily. “What, do you want me to ask about your fucking day or something?”

“You knew?!” Geoff asked, glare on Kerry becoming accusing and harsh as he stalked across the room. Kerry snorted.

“Please. Fake AH crew suddenly stops their deadly crime spree, and the town of Los Santos hears _nothing_ from them for an entire year, with no explanation? I’ve been keeping tabs on you guys.” He said with a shrug.

“Son of a bitch.” Geoff sighed, but he had a smile on his face. “Fucking Kerry.”

Kerry just grinned.

“So, does this mean you know where the boys are?” Jack asked, sitting down next to Ryan. Kerry smiled, and swivelled his laptop around so they could all see it. On the screen was a grainy security video of a large, grey tower block. He fast forwarded it, until two grainy figures came into view. One with curly red hair, and one with a pair of bright blue converse trainers. The two seemed to be talking, or more likely- bickering, as they entered the building.

“That’s Michael and Gavin!” Geoff said, pointing at the screen. His eyes flicked up to the date on the footage, which apparently had only been taken a week previous. “They stayed together this whole time.”

“Yup.” Kerry said. “They both went to stay in Michael’s old apartment in his hometown, New Jersey. They’ve kept their heads down, really, only a few small robberies and burglaries to get by.”

“Gotta keep that Adder in good condition somehow.” Jack commented with a smile.

“Something like that.” Kerry said, closing the laptop.

“Wait, Kerry.” Ryan said. “What about Ray?”

Kerry shot the older man a small smile. “Ray… Ray was harder to keep track of. He ran home to New York, and has been apartment hopping around the city for months, you know how he is.”

“Can never keep his feet still.” Ryan said, a wistful smile forming on his face.

“Yeah, anyway. Every time I pinpointed his location, he’d move. So I stopped trying.” Ryan’s face fell, but Kerry continued. “However,” he said “I know he’s still in contact with Michael and Gavin. He visits them regularly. Sometimes, he’ll stay for weeks.”

“He doesn’t like being alone.” Ryan commented with a nod. “He always says he prefers his Xbox as company over people but- it’s a lie. He can’t stand being alone.”

“You might just be lucky enough to catch him.” Kerry shrugged. “Might.”

“So, it’ll barely take us half a day to get down there.” Jack said, pulling Ryan out of his trance. “We’ll leave in the morning.” He turned to Kerry, and pulled a wad of cash from his jean pocket, and handed it over. “Thanks Kerry, especially for coming out here in the middle of the fucking night. You’re a good kid.”

Kerry took the money and zipped his laptop case back shut. “Thanks.” He said, standing up and walking towards the motel door. He was halfway out when he stopped, and turned back to the three men in the room. “And, guys- I’m glad you’re getting the crew back together.”

oOo

The drive through New Jersey was silent. After hitching a flight down to the city from Austin in the early hours of the morning, the gents were all tired. Jack refused to admit it, however, and continued the hours of driving they had, searching for the address Kerry provided. Geoff snored next to him in the passenger seat, and no matter how many times Jack’s eyes drooped, or he yawned, he refused all of Ryan’s offer to take the wheel. He wasn’t quite sure if the gent was trustworthy enough yet.

Because what kind of guy fakes his death, and then comes back a year later with a job?

Ryan was that kind of guy, actually, Jack thought, glancing into the backseat where Ryan sat. His eyes were following their path out the window, playing with his trademark skull mask between his fingers. Things were different, this time around. For the first time in all the years they’d known each other, Ryan looked… nervous.

Jack wasn’t aware Ryan could feel anything other than rage, and satisfaction.

“This is it.” He said, shaking himself out of his thoughts, and giving Geoff beside him a nudge. He glanced up at the tower block, and stopped the car, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “According to Kerry, they're in apartment 214.”

“Then what are we waiting for, assholes? Let’s go!” Geoff said, springing to life and climbing out of the car. He ran a hand through his greasy dark hair as he gazed up at the tall building. This was it.

The three men walked silently through the hallways, and chugged up to the second floor in the rusty elevator that smelt like piss and cheap food. It made a horrific creaking sound as the doors opened on their floor, and the three made their way through the hallway.

Apartment number 214 was right at the end, an old looking white door, with the numbers printed in hard, black font. Geoff took in a deep breath as he reached his tattooed knuckles to the door. “Here goes nothing.” He muttered, before knocking three times, the sound echoing through the empty corridor.

There was then, nothing but silence. The three men shared worried glances, as Geoff reached up and gave the same three beat knock again. They waited, but there was nothing. Geoff knocked a third time. Nothing.

“Alright, I’m done waiting.” Ryan said, as he sunk to his knees, reaching into his jacket pocket.

“What are you doing?” Jack asked, as Ryan pulled two thin metal tools out of his jacket.

“I’m picking the lock.” Ryan offered simply with a shrug. He thought, for a second, Geoff was smiling. But, as soon as Ryan looked, his face dropped again. Ryan was a skilled lock-pick, as he had been doing it for so many years, and quickly worked the door into the apartment open.

The three looked around the empty main room. There were empty pizza boxes stacked on the kitchen counter, along with bottles of soda. On the wall opposite the couch were two plasma TV’s, both hooked up to Xboxes respectively.

“Still gaming.” Jack commented, glancing around the room.

“Gavin’s stupid bike was outside, so they must be here.” Geoff said, walking further into the apartment, glancing around. “Where are those two little assholes?” he muttered.

They approached a small corridor, with three doors that they assumed were for bedrooms and a bathroom. “Maybe in here?” Geoff suggested. Ryan shrugged, and nodded to the handle. Geoff reached his hand over the knob and turned it, swinging the door open.

Michael was sitting on the bed, a shirtless Gavin straddling his lap, their mouths attached. Gavin was invading Michael’s mouth like it was water and he’d been trapped in a desert. Michael’s left hand was tight in Gavin’s hair, and his other hand was fumbling with the button on his jeans. Then, the door swung open, and they both froze, turning.

“Shit!”

Geoff was frozen in place, mouth ajar. Ryan was just smirking, maybe appreciating the scene a little _too_ much. Jack was the only one still rationally thinking, and reached forwards, slamming the door shut.

“We should- we should wait in the living room.” He stuttered.

oOo

“What the fuck!” Michael shouted, sitting up abruptly, causing Gavin to topple backwards off his lap, onto the bed. Michael scrambled to sand up, glancing to the closed door.

“Was-was that Geoff, Jack and _Ryan?”_

Gavin grabbed his t-shirt from the floor, and ran to the door, swinging it open. “it-It couldn’t have been Michael!” he said, pulling the American through the corridor behind him. They ran into the main room, and sure enough, the three gents sat awkwardly on their couch.

Michael scratched his bare chest nervously, and tucked a hand into his grey sweatpants. Gavin locked eyes with Geoff, and pulled his T-shirt back over his head.

“Bloody hell.” The Brit exclaimed. “Hello Geoff.”

“Gavin.” Geoff breathed. There was an awkward pause, before suddenly, Gavin lunged forwards, throwing himself at the older man. Geoff’s arms tightened around Gavin and they both embraced each other tightly, Geoff’s head buried into Gavin’s neck, breathing in his familiar scent.

The two parted just in time to see Michael, face boiling a spectacular red in rage lunge at Ryan, but instead of a heartfelt cuddle, Michael was going for the older man by the throat. Jack’s reaction wasn’t quick enough, and soon Ryan was allowing Michael to back him up against the wall.

“You bastard!” he spat. “We thought you were dead!”

“Yeah, that was kind of my idea.” Ryan said, smirking. He knew Michael couldn’t _actually_ hurt him enough to cause real damage, so he allowed the fiery redhead’s fingers to tighten around his throat.

“Now is _not_ the time to be a smart-ass.” He hissed.

“Michael!” came Gavin’s worried call, but Michael held up his free hand, silencing the Brit. Gavin visibly flinched, and shared a worried glance with Geoff. A lot had changed in a year. And by the way the flush in Michael’s cheek was slowly spreading across his neck and chest, there was no telling what he was going to do.

“You-You fucking _asshole._ ”

“I see you’ve regained that _awful_ new jersey accent again.” Ryan said with a grin.

“Ryan- don’t push it.” Jack warned. Michael turned his gaze slightly, and caught Gavin’s eye. The two shared a look, Gavin’s eyes wide and panicked, pleading. Michael took in a deep breath, and lowered his hand from Ryan’s neck to his collar.

“I can’t believe you showed your fucking face after what happened in the tunnels.”

“Listen- about that, I’m-”

“-Don’t. I’m not the one you need to apologise to, Ryan. Save it for Ray.”

“Where is he- Ray? I-I do want to apologise to him. I was-I was wrong.” Ryan admitted, glancing to the floor. Michael’s grip tightened.

“You think that’s gonna fix things, just like that? I don’t know what the fuck any of you guys are doing here, and I don’t know what kind of bullshit story you’ve sold Jack and Geoff, I don’t trust you- Ryan. Not one fucking bit. And you’re not earning my trust back- not until you’ve earnt Ray's.”

Ryan’s eyes locked with Michael’s and he nodded. “I know. I understand. But for the record, I am sorry. For everything.”

Michael let him go, and walked back over to Gavin. The flush on his chest was starting to dissipate, and Gavin placed a hand lightly on his arm. The two shared a look, and then Michael visibly relaxed.

Then, Gavin released him, and walked towards Ryan. His movements were slow and precise, almost curious as he approached the gent instantly displaying the change a year could make. Gavin used to be too quick for his own good, always in a rush, always clumsily tripping over himself. But he looked different to Ryan. He looked older, and wiser. But he still had the soft look on his face Ryan had known for years. He smiled.

“Ryan.” He said, stepping towards the gent. Surprising Ryan ,and the others in the room, Gavin pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m glad you're not dead, Ry.”

Ryan hugged him back, although not as tight, until Gavin stepped back. However, he smiled. “Thanks, Gav. It’s good to see you and Michael… together, I guess.”

Both the boys blushed, and Gavin glanced to the floor. “Uh, yeah.” Gavin said, under his breath.

“How long’s that been going on?” Geoff asked, trying to lighten the mood. Gavin glanced back at Michael, who shot him a small smile. Gavin’s face broke into a wide grin. “A while. About a year, really.”

“Good.”

“So anyway.” Michael said, stepping forwards. “Obviously, you guys didn't swing by for a catch-up… what’s up?” he asked.

“You see, that’s the thing, we-” Geoff was cut off by the door creaking.

“Hey Michael, I couldn’t decide between Avengers or The Dark Night, so I just rented both an-” Ray stopped dead as he glanced up to the room. The DVD’s fell from his hands and crashed to the ground. There was only one person Ray locked eyes with as he scanned the room.

Ryan.

Ray did the first thing his body told him to do, the instinct that had been within him since birth. He breathed once, too deeply as he locked eyes with the gent, before turning on his heel, and fleeing.

“Ray, wait!” Gavin called, but it was too late. Ray was already gone. Ryan’s eyes widened, turning panicked and he looked back and forth from the door to the group.

“Ryan.” Geoff said, catching the gents attention. “If you're even half the man we thought you were- you're gonna run after that fucking kid, and you're gonna sort all of this shit out.”

“Geoff,” Ryan sighed, but his tone came out more pleading than anything. He looked back to the door. “I don’t think he wants anything to do with me.”

Geoff marched towards him, grabbing his jacket collar. “Look, asshole- look at this.” He pulled Ryan’s V-necked shirt across to his chest, where the scar remained. “Look at how fucking lucky you got down in those subway tunnels. Or maybe- maybe it wasn’t luck. Because Ray Narvaez Jr is the best fucking shot I know. And he never misses his target.”

Ryan froze, the realization of Geoff’s statement washing over him like a freezing shoreline on a beach. His hand went to the scar, the tissue feeling so familiar under his fingers, but now- so _different._ He glanced at the door again.

“Well go on then,” Michael said, nodding to the door. “Go after him now, before he gets too far.”

Ryan nodded, and a moment passed between him and Michael. This was his chance. His actions now determined any future of any possible reconciliation. He needed to get Ray, he needed to apologise for everything he put him through. He needed to make things right.


	2. Reconnection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan is so fucking sorry.
> 
> Things turn out better than expected, but you're a fool if you think it's all going to be resolved as quickly as that.

Chapter Two:  Reconnection

With nothing to go on except a flash of checkerboard disappearing round the corner, Ryan sped from a jog to a sprint out of the building, hot on Ray’s path. Fitness had never really been the Puerto Rican’s concern in life but _damn_ , Ray was fast.

But then again, Ryan was too. He knew that although Ray had speed, he didn't have much stamina, and would have to come to a stop soon enough. But, when Ray disappeared around a few more corners, Ryan had to follow his instincts rather than the trail. He hoped Ray hadn’t changed much in the past year.

Ray’s weapon of choice was a sniper rifle. And he was _good,_ scarily so. With the choice of attack and defence, Ray and Ryan were dead opposites. Ryan enjoyed the thrill of the chase, the electric feeling of chaos, washing around him as he took out cop after cop from the middle of the street.

Ray preferred the defence method, more content to be up in a window somewhere, eyes trained on his target, just waiting for the word to take them out. It was why they worked so well together, Ryan thought. Ray was always his backup, but still knew how to hold him back when he needed it.

So Ryan caught up with Ray in the first place he expected. The roof of a parking structure, several blocks away. Ray had always loved the feeling of being up high, the bitter wind rushing against his face and through his hair, the perfect birds eye view of whatever city, whatever compound they were working in.

Ray stood right at the edge, wind whipping through his raven hair as he fumbled in his pockets, before lighting a cigarette. He turned as Ryan approached behind him, a pained expression on his face.

“Why’d you fuckin’ do it, Ryan?” he asked, inhaling sharply. “Why’d you come back?”

Ryan leant against a tall, concrete pillar, sighing.

“Ray, I-”

“I don’t understand what it is you think all this is gonna solve? This stupid fucking game! But then that’s you, isn’t it Ryan?” he asked. “Always playing fucking games.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ray ignored him. “You see- I knew, this whole time, this whole year. I knew you weren’t dead, because I was the one who pulled the trigger.” Hands shaking, Ray curled his fingers to mimic a gun, and poked Ryan harshly in the chest, directly over his scar. Ryan swallowed thickly at the feeling, and as soon as Ray’s hand moved back to his side, he sank down the pillar into a sitting position on the floor. “But when you- when the radio went silent, and you were just lying there Ryan, on the floor and-and you weren’t fucking moving… I-I panicked. And I fucking ran like a scared little kid.”

“I know.” Ryan said, looking down to the ground. “I saw you.”

This made Ray stop, and pause. “You did?” he asked. Ryan nodded.

“Then why didn't you fucking finish me off?”

Ryan swallowed. “I-I wouldn’t, I _couldn’t_ Ray. I could never.”

“Why?!” Ray yelled, causing Ryan to flinch. He inhaled sharply on his cigarette one final time, before tossing it to the ground. “Think back Ryan, that night- think back like I fucking have to every time I go to sleep,” he knelt down, so he was eye level with Ryan. “Why didn't you shoot me dead when you still had the chance?”

“I wanted to,” Ryan replied, teeth gritted. “It would have been simple. Kill you, cut the radio, and make it out alone with a little more money in my pocket than the others… but I- when I saw that look on your face Ray- God dammit, I couldn’t do it.”

“Why?” Ray pressed. Ryan looked back down to the ground.

“If you were half as smart as we gave you credit for, you’d know.”

Ray actually laughed at that. “Tell me anyway.”

“Ray-I… you know, you know how I feel about you.”

Ray laughed again- harsh and unforgiving. He raised himself back into a standing position, and took a few steps back from Ryan.

“You see Ry- this is the problem. This is _our_ problem. That even now, even after _everything_ , you still could never admit it. Fuck you.” He spat.

And then Ray turned on his heel and took off again in a sprint, back in the direction of Michael and Gavin’s apartment. Ryan didn't bother chasing him this time, just slowly rose back to a standing position. He’d fucked it up. He’d fucked _everything_ up. Again.

oOo

Ryan walked back into the apartment a little while after Ray, who had initially marched in with a flush in his cheeks from the cold and a stony expression, before flopping down on the couch and picking up his Nintendo DS.

“You alright, X-Ray?” Gavin had asked. Ray had just nodded, and turned back to his game. The apartment was filled with a low hum of Michael and Gavin catching up with Jack and Geoff. It was strange, Gavin thought, of how they had all just _gelled_ back together so quickly.

Ryan walked in, and a silence fell in the room. Ray didn't look up from his game, and Gavin had to reach out and lace his fingers with Michael’s just to make sure the other lad wouldn’t lurch up and go for Ryan again. But, instead, Michael just took in a deep breath, and clutched Gavin’s hand a little tighter, before asking, “So, Ryan. What’s this job?”

Ryan smiled, taking centre stage in the room. It was almost like the old days, he thought, as he stood in front of the five guys, addressing them like the audience. It reminded him of the times he would proposition them all, with the most ridiculous idea. Gavin would laugh and call him a prick, and Jack would point out every single flaw his entire thesis. Ray and Michael would take turns spitting out one liners, interrupting his every sentence, until eventually, Geoff would silence them all, smile, and say, “Fuck me, Ryan, it’s fucking insane but… it might just work.”

This time, however was different. There was no playful banter, no cheesy outbursts as Ryan went over his idea.

“The main bank in Los Santos, is just a cover up. Beneath the bank, deep underground is a separate vault. A vault where mobsters from all over the city store their money- and I say, why isn’t that fair game?”

“You’re serious?” Jack scoffed. “We’re supposed to just swan in there, through all the banks initial security, and get down to their ‘super-secret level’ and steal money from the most dangerous men in the entire city?!”

“I never said it was going to be easy. But I think we can do it!” Ryan protested, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. “Look,” he said, scrolling down. “They’ve been using security funded solely by the mobsters, but if we can find someone who can break into the system, our only task is really going to be breaking in through the front door!”

“But- But Ryan,” Gavin said. “This sounds… this sounds mental! What makes you think us idiots can pull it off?”

“I believe in us.” Ryan said, but his eyes were locked on Ray, who was sitting back on the couch, an unimpressed look on his face. “I know, in the past year a _lot_ has changed but- we’re still the Fake AH crew. We still completed all of those heists!”

“I don’t know Ryan.” Jack said. “It sounds too big.”

“Geoff,” Ryan sighed, turning to their boss. “Come on, we can do this.”

Geoff looked to the ground, arms folded, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. He sighed. “Ryan, you motherfucker. It… it sounds fucking crazy, but… I think- I think it might be plausible.”

Geoff’s word was oath, always. He didn't bluff, he didn't lie. Not to them. So, when Geoff gave the plan the okay, Ryan visibly relaxed, and grinned. Both Michael and Gavin both sat up a little straighter, exchanging worried glances, and Jack pulled is phone out of his pocket, and moved to the notes section.

“Right,” he said, standing and walking towards the door. “We’re gonna need a fuck-ton of weapons and a pretty fucking good hacker too. Kerry might not be able to cut it.” He mumbled, opening the door. Geoff bounced out of his seat, quickly following the other man.

“We’ll be back here, tomorrow, around midday- so make sure you assholes are up, or we’ll bust in here forcefully.” He warned, following Jack out the door. “Oh, and Ryan,” he called behind him. “Glad to have you back,”.

He didn't grin. He didn't even smile, just nodded solemnly, but for Ryan- that was enough. It was acceptance.

He turned to the three lads in the room. He glanced at his watch, which read 22:08. “Well, it’s late and-”

He stopped as Ray stood up, turning to the hallway. “Okay if I stay here for a while longer” he asked aloud.

“’course.” Michael replied. Ray took his DS, and disappeared down the corridor, ignoring Ryan’s gaze, which followed him. Gavin and Michael shared a look, before Michael headed off in the same direction glaring at Ryan with a hot intensity, before leaving Gavin and Ryan in the main room together.

“Ryan.” Gavin sighed. “All this heist-y stuff is great, and all, but- you’ve buggered it, haven’t you?”

“What?” Ryan asked. Gavin rolled his eyes.

“With Ray, you twat. Because it’s just no good, is it? The Fake AH crew, it’s not gonna be the same unless you make up.” He glanced down the corridor, to the spare room that doubled as Ray’s room. Then Gavin stepped forwards to Ryan, placing his two hands on Ryan’s forearms. “Please, Ry, for me- for all of us… go and talk to him.”

Gavin didn't give Ryan time to reply, and turned heading down to his own room. Ryan stood, frozen in place in the living room for a minute, thinking over his options, before sighing, and heading towards the room Ray had disappeared into.

oOo

Gavin closed his bedroom door behind him with a soft click, silently hoping that Ray and Ryan would be able to sort things out between them. Ray was practically his best friend, other than Michael, and Ryan was somebody he had always admired and respected until… well.

“You okay Gav?” Michael asked, watching as his boyfriend slipped his t-shirt over his head, and crawled into the bed beside him. Gavin just nodded, and sighed, before resting his head on Michael’s bare chest. Michaels arm instantly tucked around the brit, and he placed a light kiss on the top of his head.

“It’s been a really fucking surprising day.” Michael said, sighing. Gavin shifted slightly, so he could look up at Michael.

“Michael?” he asked, gaining the boys attention. “Do you really want to do this, this job, getting the crew back together?”

Michael shrugged. “I don’t know Gav. I mean, at first, I was glad that we left but now… seeing Geoff and Jack, and even Ryan, that bastard again… it’s just, put things in a different perspective for me, I guess.” He said. “Why? Do you want to do this?”

Gavin sighed, and leant his head back down so he could lay comfortably on Michael’s chest. “You know me Michael. Wherever you go, I'll follow.”

“Gavin, you know that I’d do anything to keep you safe, right?” Michael asked, Gavin nodded.

“Of course Michael.”

“You’re my boi, and I'll always look after you. And if I even though for a second that this was too dangerous, I wouldn’t go ahead with it. But, I think if Ryan can sort things out with Ray then maybe… maybe we could get the crew back together.”

“Maybe.” Gavin agreed, eyes closing. “Now don’t let it keep you up all night, love. We’ll see what the morning brings.”

oOo

Ryan knocked on Ray’s door once, after standing outside it awkwardly for the better part of five minutes. What was he supposed to say? Ray knew he was sorry but… it wasn’t exactly the apology that Ray was after, was it?

“Come in.” Came Ray’s reply. Ryan opened the door quietly, and slipped inside to see Ray, sitting up on the windowsill, a lit cigarette in hand as he looked out across the New Jersey skyline. “What the fuck do you want?” he asked, not bothering to turn around.

“I want to fix things, Ray. Between us.”

Ray scoffed at the statement. “Good fucking luck with that.” He said, and it shocked Ryan how bitter his voice was. Ryan took in a deep breath, and swallowed.

“Ray, just hear me out- okay?” he pleaded. Ray sighed, but flicked his cigarette out the window, and turned to look at the Gent. Ryan suddenly felt nervous, his thoughts racing at a thousand miles a minute, his heartbeat sped up, and his pulse skyrocketed. Ray raised an eyebrow.

Ryan needed to start fucking talking, and his brain wasn’t offering much help. So for the first time in his life, Ryan didn't think. He just spoke.

“That heist Ray, from the beginning I had planned to take you out. I knew there would be a time when we were alone together, when I could do it. I don’t play well in teams, I never have done, and I wrongly felt like my time in the Fake AH crew was up. But then, when I pulled the gun on you, it instantly felt wrong. I don’t think I would have ever been able to pull the trigger on you Ray.

“And then, when you shot me I- I thought I had gotten lucky. Thought maybe it was my reflexes, but now, I think back and… Ray, you're the best shot I know. You don’t miss, not from that range. And now, I’m just confused as to why you didn't just kill me. It’s like, I keep reliving that night, and the details keep changing and I just end up confusing myself.” Ryan shook his head, and ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair. “I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that I’m so fucking sorry. And I want us to go back to how we used to be, before everything.”

There was a long pause, before Ray started to laugh, each breath feeling like a stab through the chest to Ryan. “You want to know why I didn't kill you, Ryan?” he asked. “Because, I'm not you- I would never take out one of my own. Not any of them, and especially not you. And maybe you don’t have that same way of thinking, but there was definitely a reason you didn't take me out in the tunnels. A reason that I think maybe you still don’t know. And that’s what I need Ryan, for things to go back to the way they used to be. I need you to finally admit to me, admit to yourself the reason you couldn’t kill me. The same reason you came all the way back here, back to Jack and Geoff. Because this job looks good Ryan, but it doesn’t look _that_ good. why did you need us for it, instead of five other random criminals? Huh? Answer me that.”

“Ray I-I don’t know what you want me to say!”

“You really don’t know?” Ray asked. Ryan didn't say anything. “Then, you're not half the man I ever thought you were. Now get the fuck out my room.”

“Ray-”

“Leave!”

Ryan turned to face the door, fingers curling around the knob. But then, something changed. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt his brain open up. Memories flickered past his eyes, Ray in the sunshine. Ray on a rooftop, watching the sunset through the scope on his sniper. Ray on the couch where they all used to live, battling it out on Call of Duty with a bunch of randoms a million miles away. _Ray._

Ryan turned.

“Why are you still here, Ryan?” Ray asked, his voice wobbling. He looked different now. Gone was the façade of anger and frustration. Ryan had broken him, again, leaving his vulnerable exterior on display. Ray blinked, trying to keep the tears from spilling out of his eyes as Ryan stepped towards him, stopping barely a hairs width away. “I couldn’t kill you then,” he said, voice low as one hand crept over the distance between them, curling over Ray’s forearm. “And I couldn’t kill you now. And I finally understand why.”

“Why?” Ray asked in a whisper, staring into Ryan’s cold, dead eyes.

“Because I-I think I’m in love with you.”

Ray moved first, tiptoeing up to meet Ryan’s height, joining their mouths together in a soft, unsure kiss. Ryan’s hands both sat firmly at Ray’s waist, and Ray’s arms slowly moved up to loop around the older man’s neck. The two released, and paused, for a moment.

“I love you too,” Ray whispered back. “Always have.”

Ryan pressed his mouth against Ray’s quickly this time, harshly bringing their faces together. This kiss wasn’t like the first one. It was years worth of frustration and anguish, pouring into each other, opening themselves up to each other for the first time. Ray’s tongue darted out, licking into the corner of Ryan’s mouth, causing Ryan to press harder, their teeth clacking together harshly. Ryan’s tongue was bigger, and it invaded Ray’s mouth, touching and tasting every part of it. Ryan’s fingers bunched at the bottom of Ray’s t-shirt, and the younger gave him the nod of approval to pull his shirt up.

Ryan pulled Ray’s t-shirt over his head in one swift movement, before turning them around and backing up, until Ray’s knees were hitting the bed. With gentle push from Ryan, Ray fell back, unbuttoning his jeans. Ryan quickly undressed down to his boxer shorts, before leaning over Ray, attaching his lips to his neck. Shucking out of his jeans, Ray lifted his knees up to his chest, allowing Ryan to settle between them. Barely a minute passed of Ryan’s lips on his neck, before the first buck of Ryan’s hips came.

That feeling, of _Ryan,_ rubbing against his most sensitive area was enough to cause Ray to throw his head back and moan loudly. Ryan chuckled.

“Don’t want to wake up Michael or Gavin, do we?” he asked. Ray clamped his mouth closed, but at another slow drag of Ryan’s hips into his, a muted whine found its way out. Ryan just smiled, and softly curled his fingers into the waistband of Ray’s boxer shorts, pulling them down gently. Ray kicked his feet, allowing them to fall to the floor, as Ryan’s hand coiled around his length. Ray hissed as Ryan began to work his hand up and down painfully slowly, throwing his head back into the sheets.

He reached forwards, desperately trying to clutch at Ryan’s length, but the gent gently took his hand and moved it above his head. “No Ray,” he whispered with a shake of his head and another long stroke. “This is me, making it up to you. Tonight is all about you.”

Unable to form any words of protest, Ray silently nodded, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as Ryan continued working him up with his hand. “Fuck, _Ryan.”_ he hissed as Ryan’s movements sped up, and he twisted his wrist slightly. Ray’s hips bucked up into Ryan’s hands and he cried out, trying to keep his mouth shut, but faltering as he began to feel the familiar burn of an impending orgasm in his gut.

Sensing Ray was close to his release, Ryan lifted his hand off of him, causing the other to whine in complaint. “Not yet Ray, we’re not over yet.” Ryan said, gripping Ray’s chin, causing the younger to look him in the eyes. A moment of eye contact passed until Ray understood the gents meaning, and he turned slightly, reaching over to his duffel bag on the floor, fishing out a small packet of lube and a condom. He crawled back up to the bed, resuming his submissive position as he handed the items to Ryan.

“Are you sure?” the gent whispered. Ray nodded.

“Just get on with it already, please.”

Silently, Ryan nodded and tore open the packet. Ray shifted up the bed slightly so his head was against the headboard, and his back was propped up slightly under the bed pillows, allowing Ryan better access. Ryan coated his fingers quickly, and rubbed them together slightly to warm it up a little, before gently pushing one fingertip against Ray’s entrance. The younger hissed, but nodded, urging the gent to continue. “Go on, I’ve done this before, I can take it.” He said, eyes closed tightly

Ryan increased the pressure, until his index finger was inside Ray up to the second knuckle. Ray hissed slightly at the initially uncomfortable burn, but nodded, “Another, please.”

Following Ray’s instruction, ever so gently, Ryan slowly began to enter his other finger, causing Ray to moan softly. Once the two were aligned he gently began to press further, desperately searching for the one spot that would make the pain bearable for Ray.

He crooked his fingers slightly at an angle, and Ray’s hips instantly bucked up, a shallow moan escaping his lips. Ryan smiled, saving the look of Ray, panting and sweating and moaning at Ryan’s touch in his memory. He began to move his fingers at a quicker pace, beginning to scissor them back and forth, stretching Ray open.

“God fucking dammit Ryan, I’m ready, I swear!” Ray cried out, bucking his hips again. Taking the not-so-subtle hint, Ryan removed his fingers and tore open the condom packet, sliding it over his own throbbing, neglected member, and then coated himself in the remaining lube. He lined himself up at Ray’s entrance, just pressing at his hole but not sliding _in_ yet, causing Ray to stare up at him.

“Ryan,” he whispered. “Please.”

“You sure?”

“I’ve never been surer about anything, trust me.”

Ryan leant his head down, pulling Ray into another long, soft kiss. He tried to pour the whole year of neglect and regret into that one kiss, saying all the things he should’ve said before. Things that maybe he could say now.

He pushed into Ray quickly, filling the younger up in an instant, before dragging his way out ever so slowly, savouring every moment.

“You feel so fucking _good_.” he hissed, trying to regain his control.

“Please Ryan!” Ray practically sobbed, writing beneath the gent. Ryan leant forwards, resting his head against Rays.

“Tell me what you want Ray, tell me what you want from me.” He whispered against the younger’s lips. Ray pressed his head back into the pillow at his head.

“I want you to hurt me.” He whispered.

Ryan slammed into Ray again, but this time he didn't wait, starting his thrusts at a brutal pace, causing the entire bed to shake, the headboard slapping against the wall. He didn't give a fuck about waking Gavin or Michael now, didn't give a fuck about anyone in the god damn building, he wanted _everyone_ to hear, everyone to _know_ that Ray was _his_.

Ryan’s thrusts quickly started becoming more erratic and less precise, and he wrapped one hand around Ray’s member, pumping it twice more with a slight twist until the younger came, spurting hot white semen all over his own and Ryan’s chest. Ryan slammed into him one more time, before releasing inside of him.

Completely spent, Ryan allowed his body to flop down on top of Ray’s burying his face into the crook of his neck. He pulled out quickly, reaching down to roll the condom off and tossing it into the waste bin in the far corner of the room.

“Fuck, Ryan. I haven’t been fucked like that since College.” Ray breathed with a grin. Ryan leant up to look Ray in the eyes, and laughed, deep and raspy, before rolling off him, onto his side, and resting his head into the pillow.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” Ray asked, grinning. “Or did I leave you speechless?”

“Something like that.” Ryan grinned, as he allowed his eyes to slowly fall shut. “Now shhhh. Too tired for talk. Go to sleep.”

Ray just grinned, and laid his glasses on the nightstand. He turned to look at Ryan who had surprisingly fallen asleep instantly, and was just starting to gently snore. Ray grinned at his dumb face, and leant forwards to place a gently kiss on the gents lips. Ryan smiled in his sleep, and Ray leant into him, resting his head on the olders chest.

“I love you Ryan.” He whispered into the darkness. The gent didn't reply, being asleep, but the goofy- content looking smile on his face was enough answer for Ray, along with the way his arms unconsciously tucked around him, clutching him close.


	3. Reawakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang gets back together.

Chapter Three: Reawakening

When Ryan awoke, the bed he was in was empty. Left next to him, was a small pile of his clothes from the day before. He squinted, confused, but stood up and hastily dressed. He grabbed a few tissues off the nightstand, and mopped up most of the previous night’s mess, before finishing dressing, and walking out of the room quietly.

He entered the main room, and was met with Gavin, who sat cross-legged on top of the kitchen counter, a mug of what Ryan presumed was tea in his hands. His eyes flicked to the gent who entered.

“Oh, morning Ryan.” He said. Ryan just nodded at him. He opened his mouth to ask where Ray was, but Gavin beat him to it, announcing: “Ray’s gone shop. He said you’d be here.”

“Right.” Ryan said, leaning against the wall. “Did he… did he say anything else?” he asked.

Gavin shrugged. “He said that you and him sorted everything out last night, and then you kipped on his floor for the night.” He said. Ryan relaxed against the wall. They didn't know. The last thing he needed was the rest of the groups scrutiny. But then, Gavin grinned, wide and mischievous. “But we both know that’s not quite true.” He said.

“What?”

“Ryan.” Gavin said, hopping down from counter and moving towards the coffee maker, pouring out two mugs. “Michael may be a bloody heavy sleeper, but I’m not.”

Ryan blushed a deep red as Gavin handed him one of the coffee mugs, just as Michael entered the room, eyes heavy lidded with sleep, clad in just the same pair of sweatpants. “What’s this about sleeping?” he asked, as Gavin handed him his coffee mug and kissed him on the cheek.

“Oh, me and Ryan were just chatting, is all.” Gavin said.

“About what?” Michael asked, sipping from the mug. Gavin shrugged, and locked eyes with Ryan.

“Nothing really, right Ryan?” Gavin smirked around his mug “Nothing at all.”

oOo

Once Ray returned with cinnamon buns and poptarts, the four of them settled down around the kitchen counter, eating in a companiable silence.

“So, Ryan- I didn't know you stayed here last night.” Michael said, draining the rest of his coffee.

Ray choked a little on his poptart, but Ryan kept his cool. “Yeah well, me and Ray talked for a bit, sorted everything out. And then it was too late to leave, so I crashed on the floor.” He said, the lie flowing out with ease.

“Oh. Okay.” Michael said, dumping his cup and plate in the sink. “I’m glad you guys sorted everything.”

“Me too.” Gavin said, grinning at the pair of them. Ryan avoided his eyes, praying that the blush on his face wasn’t obvious.

“Ugh, Gavin. Talk.” Ray announced, jumping from his seat and pulling Gavin with him down the corridor. He didn't say anything, just pushed Gavin into his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

“Alright, what do you know?” He asked, glare accusing. Gavin just laughed.

“Oh, come _on_ Ray- you weren’t exactly keeping quiet.” Gavin said, grinning as Ray blushed a deep red. “You’re just lucky Michael is a deep sleeper, you twat.”

“You won't tell him, will you?” Ray asked, eyes wide and panicked. Gavin just smiled.

“Scouts honour!” he announced, placing his fingers in the air. Ray rolled his eyes, but grinned anyway. He then turned back to the door, walking out.

“Oh, but Ray!” Gavin called.

“What?”

“I’m glad you and Ryan are happy now. Just don’t bang so loudly next time.”

Ray laughed. “Duly noted.”

oOo

A loud knock came around thirty minutes later, along with a shout of “It’s us, assholes.” Michael got up to answer it, and was met with one smiling face, and one tired- hung-over looking face.

He didn't say anything in word of greeting, just stepped aside, allowing the two men to enter the apartment. Geoff went straight to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water, and chugging half of it instantly, as Jack sat down on the sofa opening up his laptop.

“Any of you assholes seen Ryan?” Geoff asked. “We called him this morning but, his phones off.”

“Yeah, uh, Ryan stayed here last night.” Ray said, hiding his blush by looking into one of the kitchen cabinets. Geoff didn't comment, but raised an eyebrow curiously.

“And where is he now?” he asked.

“I’m here.” Ryan entered the room from the corridor, now freshly showered and wearing yesterday’s jeans, along with a t-shirt that Michael had been kind enough to let him borrow, muttering “It’s too fucking big for me anyway.” bitterly.

Ryan sat down beside Jack on the sofa, who had just pulled up the schematics of the bank building on his laptop. “Now, Ryan- you were right. There’s a whole other underground level to this bank,” he said, turning the screen to show everyone the blueprints. “But, when I tried to get into the mainframe and look at the security arrangements… well, let’s just say they’ve got it on lockdown.”

Ryan nodded, “Just as I thought.”

“But, we’re gonna need to do _a lot_ more research before we’re anywhere near ready. Plus, the motel me and Geoff have been staying in has the shittiest WiFi.” He added.

“I’d say you could stay here but, there's just no fucking room.” Michael said, opening up a can of red-bull.

“Yeah!” Gavin piped up from his seat. “I mean, Ryan had to kip on the floor last night!” he added, earning himself a kick from under the counter from Ray. Geoff just raised his eyebrows again, staying silent.

“You’re right. There isn’t any room here, but it would be a lot fucking easier if we could all just… stay together, I guess.” He said with a shrug.

“Well.” Jack said “We still have… I mean, if you’d want to.” His eyes were locked to Geoff’s. “We could all, uh, stay back in 636. For a while”

Geoff suddenly stood up. “I-uh, I think I left my phone in the car.” he stuttered before turning and darting out the door quickly, leaving an awkward silence behind him. Jack looked like he was on the fence between chasing after the gent or not when Gavin stood.

“I'll go after him.”

oOo

Gavin and Geoff’s bond was different. When they met, Gavin was just a clumsy, low class criminal getting by in life through his charm alone. He had met Geoff in a bar, providing Geoff his entertainment for the night with his cheap jokes and willingness to buy the next round.

They had next met when Gavin found himself unexpectedly bailed out of jail after being arrested on an armed robbery charge. He had walked out of the prison, confused as he saw the man with the wild moustache, leaning against a black sports car waiting for him.

 _“Hey, kid. You seemed like you needed a little help.”_ Geoff had said, grinning.

How that escalated into Gavin moving into Geoff’s house, living with him and his wife and daughter, Gavin doesn’t even remember. Geoff taught him everything he knew about crime and weapons. It was Gavin’s idea to start a crew, to start pulling off real heists. Geoff had laughed in his face, saying he doubted they were anywhere near capable of that.

But then there they were barely two and a half years later, Gavin panting from running down several flights  of stairs (he had never liked elevators), coming face to face again with the man he considered a father.

Geoff was slumped on the floor, leaning against the edge of his truck, knees tucked up to his chest. He looked almost like a child, curled in on himself as his breathing began to regulate. Gavin approached him slowly.

“Geoff…”

“Go away.” He mumbled.

“Geoff. Talk to me.” Gavin sighed walking over to the man and sitting down beside him. Geoff raised his head, and sniffed.

“They're gone Gavin.”

“Who?” Gavin asked. Geoff just shook his head.

“I haven’t been back to the house ever since, and that’s the reason. That night, Gav, the same night of the last heist, they fucking left.”

“You mean-” Gavin stopped, unsure of himself. But Geoff just nodded, sniffing again. He fumbled in the pocket of his blazer, pulling out a packet of cigarettes and lighting one with shaky hands.

“I thought you gave up.” Gavin asked. Geoff just shrugged.

“I guess I started again.” He said, offering the packet to Gavin, who shook his head.

“I don’t- not anymore. Michael can't stand the smell.”

Geoff just chuckled, albeit sadly. “You’d do anything for that idiot, wouldn’t you?”

Gavin nodded. “Without doubt.” Geoff took a long drag, breathing in the smoke.

“I hope it works out for you, buddy, I really do. You seem better now, the pair of you. Not so… lost, anymore.” Geoff said

“You and-”

“Don’t.” Geoff cut him off. “Don’t even say her name. Please.”

“Geoff.” Gavin whined. “What happened, tell me.” He leant down slightly, resting his head on the gents shoulder. Geoff sighed deeply.

“Before the heist, things hadn’t been… they hadn’t been going well. She wanted me to quit. _I_ wanted to quit. But I knew I couldn’t leave you guys. And she told me, she gave me the choice. Them, or you guys. And I just… I didn't know what to do Gav, I needed more time, time to decide.

“But, I think I would’ve quit anyway Gavin. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. For either of them. I went into that heist knowing it was my last. But then, everything got fucked up, didn't it? It took me and Jack hours to lose the cops, and you guys- you were gone. By the time… by the time I got home, it was already too late. They were both already gone. I had lost them and I lost you. All in the same fucking night.”

Geoff hung his head, sniffing. “You haven’t been back since?” Gavin asked, and Geoff shook his head.

“Jack's basically been my fucking carer ever since, not that I give him any credit for it. If I was him, I would’ve left me a long time ago.”

“Geoff, don’t say that.”

“Well it’s true.” He sighed. “I drink too much, I cry too much. I can barely fucking drive straight these days. I’m useless.”

“No you’re not!”

“Gavin-”

“No! shut up!” Gavin snapped. “You're not useless. You're Geoff! You're the fucking best man I know, and you need to start acting like it. Yeah, you’ve made mistakes. You’ve been through enough to kill any normal person, but you’re still here, aren’t you? You can't just give up like this Geoff, Jack needs you, the boys need you-” he paused.

“I need you.”

Gavin reached his hand down, lacing his own fingers between Geoff’s, and squeezing tightly. “You saved me when I didn't think I deserved it.” He said, pulling their hands up so Geoff could see. “And now, I’m gonna do the same for you, alright?”

“Gavin, I don’t know I- what if I can't?  I haven’t been back to 636 since they left, what makes you think I can now?”

Gavin’s face with as serious as Geoff had ever seen it as the younger looked him dead in the eyes, their hands clutched tightly together. “I'll be there, won't I? You’ve got me Geoff!, and Jack and the guys. It’ll be great, you’ll see! Now, are you with me?”

Geoff looked down, away from Gavin’s intense gaze, but nodded. Gavin stood up, pulling the gent with him. He pulled the cigarette from Geoff’s lips, and after taking one quick drag himself, threw it to the ground.

“Thought you gave up?” Geoff asked, smirking. Gavin rolled his eyes.

“Just don’t tell Michael, alright?”

“Deal.” Geoff smiled. He turned, looking up at the building. “He treats you well, doesn’t he?” he asked. Gavin nodded.

“The best. I love him Geoff, more than anything.”

“That’s good.” Geoff nodded. “You always need someone. You’ve got Michael.”

“Hey,” Gavin said. “I’ve got you as well. And you’ve got me. Plan G, remember?”

Geoff smiled. “I remember. Now come on, let’s go back in.”

OoO

Nobody asked why they had been so long. Nobody asked why Geoff’s eyes were rimmed red. Michael didn't ask why Gavin smelt like cigarette smoke when he came and sat beside him. Nobody said anything when Geoff excused himself to the bathroom, scratching at his messy beard.

They did, however, all break out into big grins when Geoff emerged, ten minutes later, clean shaven, except for his trademark moustache, which had been expertly styled.

“Oi, have you been using my hair gel!” Gavin exclaimed, earning a playful shove from Michael.

“You shut your god damn mouth.” Geoff said, but his face broke out into a huge grin. Gavin smiled back, equally as wide. “Now, you assholes better get your stuff packed. We’re moving back to 636!”

They all shared grins, and Ray cheered, loud and obnoxious. Ryan shoved him lightly, and the two laughed, together. Ray looked at Ryan, who had a giant, goofy grin on his face. Then, they stopped laughing, and just looked, for a little while.

“If you two aren’t too busy sucking dicks in the corner over there, I’m gonna call in vans to load some your stuff from… wherever you’ve been staying and I need the fucking addresses.”

Ray and Ryan both jumped, metres apart and quickly listed off their addresses to Geoff, not daring glance at each other. Gavin smiled to himself, and was about to catch eyes with Ray when Michael jumped up, startling him.

“Bloody Hell Michael!”

“Shut up! Something just came to me,” Michael fumbled into his jean pocket for his phone. “This’ll be great. I’ve got a, uh, surprise, I guess. Lemme just call my guy.”

“But Michael,” Gavin whined, “I thought I was your guy?”

Geoff pretended to gag from the corner, egged on by Jack and Ryan’s laughter. Michael just grinned. “Shut up Gavin, you’re my boi, remember?”

“Just checking.” Gavin said with a grin, as Michael pressed the phone to his ear.

“Go, assholes. Wait down in the parking lot. This’ll be good, promise.”

oOo

“No!” Geoff exclaimed a smile spreading across his face.

“Michael, you son of a bitch.” mumbled Jack, eyebrows raised.

Michael pulled the car to a stop in front of them, and honked the horn, the melody of the nutcracker blaring through the street. The window wound down, and Michael stuck his head out, grinning. “If we’re getting back together, we gotta do it in style! Right?!”

“You’ve still got the fucking crew-mobile!” Gavin exclaimed, running up to the window. “You bloody kept that quiet!”

Michael just grinned at the lad, before stepping out of the car. “Yeah well, I was gonna sell it for scrap but…” his hand reached out, stroking over their bright green crew emblem. “I could never really get rid of her, I guess.” He shrugged.

“Getting sentimental in your old age?” Ray asked with a grin.

“Shut up Narvaez. I’m like twenty six.”

“Old enough.” He snorted. Michael just grinned.

“Guys, I can't believe we’re actually doing this!” Gavin exclaimed, grinning around at them all. His excitement was adorable and infectious, and soon, they were all sporting their own idiotic smiles.

“Yeah well, last chance to back out.” Geoff said.

“Never.” Gavin replied. “No going back, right?” he looked around, locking eyes with every member of the group. Each of them nodded.

“No going back.” Ray repeated, he looked at Ryan, who nodded.

“No going back.” Jack added.

“No going back.” Michael finished.

“Top!” Gavin exclaimed, goofy grin on his face.


	4. Relocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little backstory on how the Fake AH Crew came to be, and a little more Ryan/Ray

** Chapter Four:  Relocation **

Geoff’s house was _tall_. It was luxurious, spacious, and had been designed and built by Geoff himself. He was there, from the start of laying the first brick, until the final coats of paint.

It was a multi-million dollar mansion, and sat out in the outskirts of Los Santos, deeply camouflaged in trees. If you didn't already know it existed, you wouldn’t find it.

However, living in a house you built yourself, and having no neighbours, meant you got to choose your own door number. When Geoff’s house had first been finished, he spent hours mulling over the plaque, wondering what number could be significant enough to plaster on the front of his house.

Then, one night when he was absolutely fucking hammered, he wrote it down. _636._ And when he woke up sober in the morning, he knew. He knew the number was really important, even if he couldn’t remember why.

When Gavin first moved in with him, Geoff went to the effort of building an entirely new structure in the back of his land. To make Gavin feel like he had his own home. Of course, at nights, when Gavin got lonely, he would often creep across the grass and back inside, crashing in one of the guest bedrooms or on the couch, but Geoff pretended not to notice that.

When the idea of starting a crew came up, Jack was the first to move in. he and Geoff had been friends for a few years, and Geoff knew Jack was trustworthy. Despite his shady business, Jack was a good man.

Griffon had always joked that Geoff just loved bringing strays home. Maybe he did.

That’s what Michael was. A stray.

They met on a trip to New Jersey. It wasn’t official crew business, it was just a stupid little vacation for the group. A chance to see the insides of a few new bars and a few new public toilets.

And then Gavin just had to go and start trouble.

Michael was rage. He was like fire, burning and burning, violent flames licking out at everything he touched. Gavin crashed his bike into the boys chrome car. and Michael was not fucking happy about it.

_“Do you have **any** fucking idea how much this car **cost** , asshole? That’s gonna cost me twenty-five grand to fucking fix!”_

His wild auburn curls bounced over his eyes as he screamed, his white teeth bared and his fists clenched. His accent was thick, but you could still instantly tell how young he was.

Gavin loved him instantly.

After Geoff paid him off for the damages, he didn't expect to ever see Michael again. He didn't expect his stupid pseudo-son to pester the poor boy every moment they were in New Jersey until he got his number. He didn't expect Michael’s initial hostility toward Gavin to fade into a weird friendship of some sorts. He didn't expect Michael to come down to visit them, more and more frequently over the course of a few months. He didn't expect Gavin to fucking fall in love with the idiot.

Michael made his final decision to join the crew after eight months of Gavin’s pestering, and Geoff found himself having to build another layer to Gavin’s granny annex. A fucking loft conversion sat on top, where Michael stayed.

Ray… Ray was different. Geoff didn't know anything about the kid other than what he had heard from Michael, and his impressive Gamerscore. But then, when Michael left for New York for a few days to have his ‘bro-date’ Geoff realised he wasn’t going to be able to put up with Gavin moping around because his fucking crush had a new friend.

He took himself down to New York, without telling anybody of his plans, to assess the lads other skills. The ones that didn't involve an Xbox controller.

He knew the agency Ray worked for. He knew the man that owned it, so he quickly found Ray’s next target. A not-so-well known drug dealer around New York who was in debt up to his eyeballs. Geoff watched silently from the shadows as Ray took the man out in the middle of time square, able to make his escape before the emergency services had even showed up.

He then followed Ray back to his apartment, and propositioned him.

Ray turned him down.

Ray turned him down a total of three times over the course of four months, before he finally caved, packed his duffel bag full of belongings, and moved down to Austin. Ray took the highest room in the house, at the top of the structure, in the attic. He (with a little help from Geoff) quickly learnt how to make the room feel like home. And then, on warm nights, he’d open up the windows, and climb out onto the roof. He’d sit there for hours, smoking his way through a box of cigarettes and sipping from his bottle of water, just watching the skies.

Ryan was the last addition to the crew. They stumbled upon him by accident, really. With their first full heist prepared and ready to go, Geoff and Gavin were set to run in and rob the convenience store. But when they stormed in, guns blazing, the keeper was dead, and was Ryan leant causally against the counter, counting the money in his hands.

He was cocky, Geoff knew that instantly by the way he smiled, and drew his gun, sending a bullet through Geoff’s stomach. But he was also _good._ Geoff had wheezed as he sank to his knees on the floor, asking “You looking for a job, buddy?”

It had taken some convincing, but eventually Geoff was healed and had a new investment into some _strong_ body armour and Ryan was officially a part of the crew. He took a room in the far side of Geoff’s house, as far away from the others as he could possibly manage. He took a while to warm up to the boys, but soon his dark sense of humour and sarcasm began to shine through. And everyone just suddenly _clicked._

It was strange, Geoff thought, looking at the empty house now. They all climbed out of the Crewmobile, not bothering to park it in the garage and leaving it out on the drive. They all stopped for a moment, just looking.

“Well. It sure has been a while.” Jack was the first to speak. The sun had just begun to set over Los Santos, and was almost completely eclipsed by Geoff’s building. The vans were just pulling up, most of their stuff sitting in the back. Geoff reached into his blazer pocket, pulling out a keyring that had the same six keys in a row, dangling lifelessly. One by one, he pulled them off the hook and handed them to each group member.

“I hope you remember which ones your rooms were.” He mumbled, before stepping forwards and unlocking the front door. He could feel both Jack and Gavin’s worried gazes on his back, but ignored them as he turned the key. He could do this.

The first step into the house was a feeling that Geoff could only compare to a bullet through the chest. The first step echoed through the walls and bounced off the wooden floor. Everything looked the same. Everything looked different.

Geoff took in one long breath, before turning and nodding at the guys to follow him in. Gavin walked passed him first, and gave him a tight little half-hug, before taking Michael through the back, to their rooms. He knew Geoff needed a little time alone. They all did.

Both Ryan and Ray silently retreated up the stairs, leaving Geoff and Jack standing in the doorway.

“You okay, buddy?” Jack asked.  Geoff shrugged.

“Not right now.” He said. “But I will be.”

oOo

“Weird, isn’t it?” Gavin said, sitting down on his bed, in a place he used to call home. Michael sat beside him, the pair of them staring blankly at the wall where Gavin’s Halo poster was stuck.

“You can say that again.”

“Weird, isn’t it?”

Michael shoved Gavin in the shoulder, and the Brit laughed, before flopping back on the bed. Michael joined him, and reached up to cup his hands behind his head.

“You’re right, Gav. It is weird.” He said, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s like… coming home.”

“This _is_ home, Michael. To me, it is.” Gavin rolled on his side, facing his boyfriend. Michael looked in Gavin’s eyes.

“I know. Now, c’mere.”

Gavin shifted closer, and Michael moved his arm to wrap around the brit, holding him close. He dropped a kiss on Gavin’s head, smiling at the way he buried his face in the crook of Michael’s neck, inhaling deeply.

“We should probably unpack and stuff, or the vans are gonna leave all of our shit on the driveway.” Michael said.

“We could.” Gavin replied, placing a small kiss on the pulse point of Michael’s neck, sending a shiver through his body. “Or, we could do something else.”

“You’re such an asshole.” Michael chuckled, grabbing Gavin by the hips and rolling over so he was on top. He shifted his leg so his thigh was between Gavin’s legs, pressing lightly. “I fucking hate you.” He laughed, before leaning down and capturing Gavin’s lips with his own in a wet, sloppy kiss.

oOo

After placing his few belongings in his own room, Ryan made the journey through the upper layers of the house to Ray’s bedroom. He knew obviously he and the lad still had a fair amount to discuss in the nature of the weird-fucked up relationship they were apparently starting, and Ryan just wasn’t the kind of guy to wait around.

He passed Geoff on his way up, the two almost colliding on the staircase.

“Hey Geoff.” Ryan said, trying to sound nonchalant. Geoff just shot him a curious look. “Where you going?” he asked.

Ryan just shrugged. “Just have to go and ask Ray something, that’s all.” He said. Ryan was a skilled liar. And in order to lie well, he knew that there always had to be some amount of truth in what you were saying.

“Oh.” Geoff said. “What about?”

“Uh, nothing important. Just about some… achievement on my Xbox.”

This was the second kind of lie. The panicked kind of lie where what you were saying was just whatever your brain gave you. And as soon as you say it, you’ve got to go with it.

“Oh. Okay. What game?”

“COD.”

“I didn't know you played Call of Duty.”

“It’s been a year Geoff. I get bored.”

Silence fell between the two of them, Ryan silently praying that Geoff would just take his bullshit and leave.

“Okay, fair enough.” Geoff said, stepping aside to let Ryan walk up the stairs freely. Ryan let out a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you and Ray are… getting on better.” Geoff said. Ryan just smiled and nodded, thinking to himself _oh, you have no idea,_ before turning and heading up the stairs.

OOo

Geoff considered going out and asking Gavin about this whole weird Ryan and Ray situation, but the fact that neither him or Michael had showed up to collect their stuff or have dinner, had him thinking that maybe other activities had tired them both out.

He shivered slightly. _No_. _Do not need to be thinking about Gavin and Michael fucking. No thank you._

He shook his head, trying to erase the thought. Instead, he let his mind wander back to Ryan and Ray. Just the other day Ray was barely speaking to Ryan. But then again, just last week they all thought Ryan was dead and fucking buried.

Geoff wondered if maybe Ray had known Ryan was alive the whole time. He knew he had told Ryan that Ray aimed to injure, not kill but… maybe there was the slightest chance that Ray had just… missed.

Geoff shook his head again. Ray didn't just… miss. Geoff had never even seen the kid miss a target. If Ray had wanted Ryan dead, then Ryan wouldn’t fucking be there, sleeping in his house.

Geoff wondered if there was maybe more to the story than what was heard over their radios.

oOo

Almost hesitantly, Ryan knocked on Ray’s door.

“Come in.” he heard from the other side. Ryan turned the door handle, and after quickly glancing around behind him, entered the room.

As usual, Ray’s room smelt like weed, oranges, and pepsi. The boy in question sat by his windowsill, a joint resting between his fingertips.

“I can feel your eyes judging me Ryan, so kindly stop fucking doing that.” He mumbled without turning around. Ryan just smiled as he approached Ray from behind.

“I’m not judging you Ray.” He said softly as one of his hands reached forwards to snake around Ray’s waist. “I’m hardly in any position to judge.”

Ray reached down to lace their fingers together.

“No. you’re not.” Was all he said, reaching his head back to lean against the gents shoulder. Ryan was warm, and strong and _built_. Ryan was _home_ , in the scariest way possible.

It scared Ray how quickly he trusted Ryan again. However, he didn't say this, just carried on smoking, leaning back and listening to Ryan’s steady heartbeat.

“I wanted to talk.” Ryan said quietly, moving his thumb in circled on the edge of Ray’s hip. “About us. Whatever we are. Whatever you want _this_ to be.”

“What do you want _this_ to be, Ryan?” Ray asked, feeling himself beginning to panic at Ryan’s words. “Because I’m not just an occasional fuck, okay?”

“Of course not!” Ryan said, his voice low at Ray’s ear. “You couldn’t just be some fuck if you tried, Ray. I want _this_ to be _everything._ But if that’s not what _you_ want, then I understand.”

“Define everything.” Ray chuckled.

Ryan sighed, glancing up at the glowing moon outside. “I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I see when I go to sleep at night. And everything in-between.” He whispered. Ryan’s calloused fingertips slipped under Ray’s thin t-shirt, resting over his hipbones. Ray sighed, and sat up. Ryan pulled his hands back to his sides. The connection was gone.

Ray stumped the joint out in his ashtray, and swung around so he was facing Ryan. He reached forwards and took the gents hands in his, swiping his thumb over Ryan’s palms.

“I want that too Ryan, everything, I _do…_ but. I can't, okay?” he looked up and the two locked eyes. “I just can’t have that with you, not yet. Everything’s just been so… so fast and-”

“And you still don’t know if you can trust me.” Ryan finished.

Ray hung his head, but nodded. Ryan stepped forwards, squeezing Ray’s hands. “Ray, look at me.” He said. The Hispanic looked up. “I understand. I promise you, I do understand. And when you’re ready, you’ve gotta understand that I’m gonna be there waiting. If you just wanna take things… slow for a while, I can do that.”

“Really?” Ray asked.

“Really.” Ryan put one of Ray’s hands to his lips, kissing it gently. However, Ray shifted forwards, pulling Ryan’s face to his, and kissing him slowly.

“I just want you to know that this isn’t a break-up, or anything like that.” He whispered against Ryan’s lips. “I want to be with you, I do… I just can't _be_ with you, if that makes sense?”

Ryan just chuckled. “If it was anyone else, it probably wouldn’t make sense. But you make sense to me Ray.” He kissed Ray one more time, but this time it was light and chaste, before he backed away.

“I’m going to bed. Goodnight Ray.” He said, walking towards the door.

“I love you Ryan!” Ray called. Ryan smiled.

“I love you too.”


	5. Recollection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so i fucked up and forgot to post this chapter. Occurs between Relocation and Reconnaissance. Sorry

Recollection

In the morning, everybody found themselves gathered up by Jack in the meeting room. It was ten AM, but by the look of the five men sat around the table, it may as well have been six thirty in the morning. Each one of them nursed a cup of coffee in their hands, and only Geoff and Ryan were actually dressed. Gavin actually had his shirt on _backwards_.

Jack just rolled his eyes. “Guys, you with me?” he asked.

“I’m actually hoping this is just a really weird dream and I’m still asleep in bed, to be honest Jack.” Gavin said, head slumped on his arms on the table. Jack sighed.

“Guys. It’s ten o’clock in the morning. Pull yourself together.”

His only reply was a collective groan from Gavin, Ray and Michael.

“Hey, listen to lovely uncle Jack. He’s not talking shit, for once.” Geoff said, kicking Ray whilst simultaneously elbowing Gavin in the side, causing the brit to flail helplessly and crash into Michael, who was actually beginning to fall asleep. _Was._

“Thank you Geoff.” Jack said, ignoring Michael’s hands around Gavin’s neck.

“Now. The best time to actually pull of this heist is going to be in exactly one week’s time. And that’s based on the little we know about security shifts and stuff like that. But, before we can even go in and rob the place, we need to hack into the security, to stop things like alarms and all that. And that’s where our problem is.” He explained.

“What's the  bloody problem?” Gavin asked. “Why can’t Kerry just do it? Then we can all go back to sleep.”

“That’s the thing… I don’t think that even Kerry’s going to be capable of this. We need someone… professional.” Jack said, sitting down in his chair. “I just don’t know who.”

“What about Lindsay?” Ryan suggested. Nobody noticed the way Gavin tensed up next to Michael or the way his hands suddenly clasped tightly together.

“Lindsay Tuggey?” Jack said. “I hadn’t even thought of that.” He admitted.

“That’s a fucking great idea. She’s good, and we know she’s trustworthy.” Geoff added.

“And everyone fucking loves Lindsay.” Ray said with a shrug. Gavin remained silent.

“I think it sounds like a fucking excellent idea.” Michael finished. Gavin’s face instantly turned to his boyfriend, eyes wide. Michael’s arm loosened around Gavin’s shoulders, and Gavin ran a hand through his hair.

“Yeah, I'll call her.” Jack said, typing on his laptop.

“I- Uh, I’ve gotta go loo!” Gavin muttered, excusing himself from the table and quickly leaving the room. Ryan frowned.

“What’s up with him?” he asked Michael. The Jersey boy shrugged.

“You know Gavin, it’s probably nothing.” He lied.

oOo

Gavin was sweating profusely, and could feel the flush on his cheeks. He was panicking, and he knew that he needed to calm down. But _God Damn it why did they have to pick **Lindsay**?_

Breathing deeply in his bathroom, Gavin splashed some cold water on his face. He needed to calm down if he was going to be able to show his face back inside without anyone getting suspicious.

But _fuck._ Why _Lindsay?_

And it wasn’t just the prospects of seeing Lindsay again that was getting him worked up. It was Michael, how he just sat there like there was nothing wrong. Like nothing had gone down between the three of them at all.

Gavin could feel his pulse increasing again. He needed to speak to Michael and sort all of this shit out. But they hadn’t spoken about Lindsay since… well.

Sighing, Gavin left the comfort of his room, and trekked back across the garden into the house. He took in a few deep breaths on his way, trying his best to stay calm. His arms were folded tightly to protect himself from the cold chill, and his toes curled as they moved across the concrete slabs leading to the backdoor.

Ray noticed him first, and sprinted forwards to open the door. Gavin sighed when his feet touched the warm kitchen floor. _Thank **Geoff** for underfloor heating. _ He thought.

“You went all the way to your bathroom outside?” Ray asked with a laugh. Gavin just faked a grin and shrugged his shoulders, trying his best to seem normal. He glanced across the kitchen where Michael sat, eating a piece of toast and chatting to Ryan.

On one hand, Gavin was pleased that his boyfriend was warming back up to Ryan again, and something inside of him fluttered contently as he watched Michael and the gent smile and laugh over whatever… but on the other hand, he didn't know how Michael was acting so… _normal_.

“Michael.” He said, trying to gain the lads attention. It didn't work. Michael didn't even react.

“Michael.” Gavin tried again, trying to keep his voice steady. Michael looked up at him this time, and raised a single eyebrow, before turning back to his conversation with Ryan. Gavin swallowed thickly, and moved towards the table, sitting opposite the two.

“Michael.”

“Yes Gavin?!” Michael sighed, rolling his eyes. “What is so important?”

Gavin felt his eyes begin to will up, but blinked hard, and breathed deeply, trying to hold it all together. “I… I just-”

“You just what, spit it out?!”

“It’s nothing.” Gavin mumbled quickly, before quickly standing up and turning away. He could hear Michael sigh behind him, practically feel the eye roll burning into his back. Gavin swallowed again, before walking straight out of the house, and back to his room. Their room. Whatever.

OoO

“Did you see Gavin earlier?” Ryan asked as he and Ray sat upstairs in Ray’s room. They were playing Xbox, but it had turned more into Ray distracting Ryan whilst dominating him on screen, and then laughing at Ryan’s pathetic score at the end of each round. But the gent didn't mind losing, not to Ray anyway.

“I did.” Ray said with a nod, sipping from his coke-can. “He looked pretty upset. Trouble in paradise, maybe?”

“I don’t know.” Ryan said with a shrug. “But by the way Michael was talking to him, I definitely think something’s wrong with them.”

Ray shrugged. “They’ll work it out. They always do.” He rested his head against the gent’s shoulder, and Ryan sighed.

“You spent a lot of time with them over the past year, didn’t you?” he asked.

Ray nodded. “About a month in, when I was convinced I was actually starting to go insane from not speaking to anyone, I tracked them down. Had no idea that they were banging though until at least two weeks later when I-uh… caught them in the act, persae.”

Ryan chuckled. “They do have a habit of getting caught, don’t they?” ay just sighed, a stupid smile on his face.

“Yeah, they’re moron’s, but… they kinda just go together, you know? Like, they're opposites, but they're also exactly the same. It’s weird. But to answer your question, yeah, I spent a lot of time with them.”

Ray shifted slightly so he was nested closer into Ryan’s side, and soon felt a warm arm wrap around his waist. “What about you, Ry? What did you do over the past year?”

Ray felt Ryan’s body immediately tense, no matter how hard the gent tried to hide it. “Nothing,” he said, shaking his head. “Nothing at all.”

“Bullshit.” Ray mumbled. “You must’ve been busy doing something. How’d you manage to go unnoticed for so long? Cloak of invisibility?” Ray teased, but Ryan didn't smile.

“Ray, just drop it.” He said, voice low and warning.

“Oh come on Ryan, I-”

“I said drop it!” Ryan snapped, causing Ray to flinch. The younger scrambled away from Ryan’s touch, backing up on the bed. This was the first glimpse into the other side of the gent’s personality that Ray had seen since they re-united. And it unnerved him to no end.

“Ryan?” he asked hesitantly, angry at the way his own voice was shaking. Ryan just sighed.

“Ray, come back here.”

Ray shook his head. “No!” he shouted, hugging his knees to his chest. “I just want you to tell me where you’ve been, that’s all!”

“It’s not important!”

“It is to me!”

Silence fell between the two, and Ray ran a hand through his hair, sighing. Fuck, he needed a cigarette. Apparently, Ryan had had the same thought, and pulled Ray’s carton out of his drawer, taking one out and resting it between his lips, before cupping his hands over the flame of his lighter, and lighting it.

Ray reached over once he was finished, snatching the carton and lighter out of Ryan’s hands, but flinching away from his touch. Ryan sighed and rolled his eyes as Ray lit his own cigarette, and inhaled sharply.

“Ryan, if this,” he motioned his hands between the two “is gonna work, I just- I just need you to be honest with me. Maybe not about everything, but about this, at least.”

Ryan flicked ash into the ashtray by the side of the bed, and left his lit cigarette resting there. He turned to face Ray, legs crossed. He looked down at the bed.

“Fucking look at me at least.” Ray deadpanned. Sighing, Ryan turned his gaze back up to Ray.

“Ray- back then… for a while, I- I wasn’t… I haven’t been a very good guy.” He said, voice hesitant.

“I don’t care.”

The tone in Ryan’s voice changed. “I killed people.”

“We’ve all killed people.”

“In cold blood.”

“And how is that different than mowing down a pedestrian on the sidewalk because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time?” Ray asked, blowing smoke rings up into the air.

Ryan let out a short laugh.

“This was different Ray. These people were my friends, people who trusted me, and I killed them in cold blood. I’m a murderer.” He explained, gaze falling back down into his lap. Ray pretended he couldn’t see the tears glazing over the gent’s eyes.

Ray was torn, because on one hand- he was still mad. But on the other hand, this was _Ryan._ Ray had never seen Ryan cry before. His rational mind and the beating in his heart fought a war inside of him, before Ray came back to reality, and crawled across the bed so he was directly in front of Ryan. After placing his cigarette back in the ashtray, his hands snaked up and laced between Ryan’s fine strands of almost blonde hair, and he pulled the gents face up to look at him.

“Ryan, look at me.” He coaxed, and surely enough, Ryan’s icy blue eyes met Ray’s soft, warm brown ones. “I don’t care about any of it. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, even me. I just want you to be honest with me, okay?”

Ryan hesitated for a second, before nodding once. Ray pressed his head against Ryan’s, and for a second, just breathed in the older’s scent. Ryan smelt like woodchips and cigarette smoke. He smelt like motor oil and freshly shot bullets. Ray inhaled Ryan, knowing he was far more addicted to that scent than the nicotine in his cigarettes, or the clouded feeling any drug could give him.

He took in one final deep breath, and then opened his eyes, the thick plastic frames of his glasses pressed into the bridge of Ryan’s nose. The two’s eyes locked, and Ray asked his question.

“Where did you go Ryan, when you left, just tell me- where did you go?”

Ryan didn't hesitate.

“Crazy.” He said. “I went crazy.”


	6. Reconaissance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Gavin scope out the bank, but they don't actually do much looking.
> 
> A twist.

Chapter 5: Reconnaissance

The next morning came with six more mugs of strong coffee, three lads in mismatched pyjama’s, and Jack complaining that _Really? You guys can’t even function in the mornings?_

But this morning was different. Gavin and Michael still sat next to each other, but the distance between them was blindingly obvious. Gavin sat with his knees tucked into his chest, and his eyes looked red raw. Michael just looked cranky, with his beanie pulled tightly over his ears and a stony expression to match his folded arms. Obviously, something was still up with them.

And then there was Ryan and Ray. Geoff tried not to notice the way Ray winced when he sat down, and the way that Ryan’s ‘concerned’ looks in his direction lasted a few seconds longer than they needed to. He also pretended not to notice how closely the two sat together, with Ryan’s hand protectively placed on Ray’s knee under the table, where they thought nobody could see.

Geoff really had no idea what the fuck was going on with his crew anymore, and turned his attention back to Jack.

“Are any of you fuckers even listening to me?” Jack asked, catching their attention.

“Sorry buddy, we’re listening. I just think uh, we all had a very long night.” Geoff said, before allowing his eyes to dart back around the room, surveying everyone’s reactions quickly. Gavin’s eyes darted to his lap, and his lip quivered slightly. Michael inhaled and exhaled deeply, fists clenched under his armpits. Ray blushed ruby red, and Ryan’s eyes flicked to him for a second, smirking.

Geoff shook his head at them. Fucking morons.

“Well, what I was saying for anyone who even fucking bothered listening, was that I called Lindsay, and she’s gonna help us out. She's coming down in a couple days to work with us.”

Gavin sat up, and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. His eyes turned to Michael briefly, but the redhead didn't even acknowledge him. Gavin sighed sadly.

“But now, we’re onto problem number two. Weapons.”

“We’ve got weapons.” Ray said with a shrug. “We’ve got more weapons than we know what to fucking do with, to be honest.”

Jack just shook his head. “None of those are right for this kind of job. We’ve got a mix of fucking chrome and bright pink guns with our crew logo stamped all over them which are all fucking perfect for causing a ruckus and getting the cops but… that’s not what this job is. We need something more… understated. I just don’t know where to get them from.”

“What about Dan?” Gavin suggested, speaking for the first time that morning. The idea came to him so suddenly… it was perfect. Then, Gavin turned to look at Michael, who’s face turned even _angrier_ somehow, and his fists clenched so hard his knuckled turned white. Gavin had forgotten that Michael and Dan didn't get on. The thought made him grin.

“Do you think he could get down here, get us what we need?” Jack asked.

“Absolutely!” Gavin exclaimed, a cheery smile on his face and a new spring in his step. It was time for Michael to have a taste of his own fucking medicine for once. “In fact, I'll give him a ring right now!”

Gavin pulled his phone out, and typed the one number he actually knew by heart. Everyone turned their attention to the Brit as the phone rang, and then listened to Gavin’s side of the conversation.

_“Hello?”_

_“B! You alright?”_

_“Dan, stop it! Ha!”_

_“Yeah, bloody top thanks. Listen, B, we need you for something.”_

_“No, shut up you twat! That was one time”_

_“No, we need some stuff for our erm, next job, you get me B?”_

_“Yeah, exactly. Do you think you could come down for a bit?”_

_“Oh! Dan!”_

After Gavin’s last whine of Dan’s name, Michael stood up, chair scraping against the floor painfully loud. He couldn’t stand to listen to Gavin’s pathetic fucking squeals and giggles of _ooh, B, no B, stop B_ any longer without wanting to rip someone's throat out. Without a word, he stormed out of the meeting room, slamming the door behind him.

“What’s his problem?” Ryan asked. Gavin just shrugged, but by the glazed look in his eyes, fixed on the door, he knew more than he was letting on.

oOo

Geoff liked to think of himself as a bit of a genius, no matter how many times his so called friends told him to shut the fuck up. And he thought it was a fucking ingenious idea to send Gavin and Michael out together to do surveillance on the building. It would be a little alone time for the two of them, he thought, perfect for a little couples reconciliation. And reconnaissance, so for him, it was really a win-win. It had been over two days… and it would stop Gavin moping around the house and would stop Michael smashing things, he was all for it.

He didn't approach the idea to either of them gently, or try to trick them into going. He just told them where to fucking go and not to fucking argue (with him, anyway) and mumbling curses under their breath, they both agreed to go.

Michael drove, because Gavin had barely passed his bike licence, let alone his driver’s, so he climbed into the passenger seat of the adder and strapped himself in without a word.

Michael sat beside him silently, and pulled the car out of the drive.

Due to the pure speed that the car was able to create, they got down to the bank in barely a few minutes, parking outside a clothes store across the street. And then, they sat, just looking.

Geoff had just asked them to monitor the security guard shift, and see if there were any external cameras, but Michael couldn’t really give less of a shit. This all seemed like a job that someone else could easily take care of. He sat back in his seat and frowned, staring aimlessly at the building.

Ten minutes passed until Gavin had had enough.

“Michael.”

Michael remained silent.

“ _Michael.”_

“Michael! Don’t be a fucking little prick and talk to me!”

“What’s to talk about?” Michael asked. “I would’ve thought you were fucking sick of talking after the fucking hour you spent on the phone to your precious fucking _b_ earlier.”

“Oh, so I can't talk to my best friend on the bloody phone anymore, is that it? But it’s fine for you to fuck off with whoever you please whenever the fuck you want, right?”

Michael just sighed. “Gavin, we’ve fucking been over this, I’m _sorry_ , you know that!”

There was a pause before Gavin spoke, fists clenching tightly in his lap.

“I thought you were Michael!” he cried “I really did but- but maybe you're not! Because you seemed perfectly fine and dandy with the fact that Lindsay fucking Tuggey is gonna come help us out! Bet you can’t wait for that!”

“Gavin, you’re fucking paranoid!”

“Really? I’m just fucking _paranoid_? Maybe that would be true if you would’ve actually sat down and spoke with me about it when I tried to talk to you instead of just fucking ignoring me!”

“I didn't know what you wanted me to fucking say Gavin!” Michael shouted. “You think I don’t regret it? Because I do, okay, I regret it every fucking day, but I can't go back and change it, can I? Why can’t you just fucking _trust_ me?”

“Like you trust me?” Gavin scoffed. Michael turned to say something, but Gavin swiftly cut him off. “Because I can't even fucking speak to my _best mate_ on the phone, but you can just swan off out one night and fuck your ex-girlfriend whilst I wait at home. That sounds really fucking fair!” Gavin could feel his voice turning quieter and quieter as he spoke, like he couldn’t quite get out the words. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like his throat was filling up with some sort of bile that he just couldn’t swallow. He wanted to throw up.

Michael slammed a fist against the dashboard, but Gavin didn't flinch. He refused to let Michael think he could intimidate him. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

“Gavin I’m fucking sorry, okay! I really, really am! I was sorry then, and I’m still sorry now. What is it gonna take for you to forgive me for one _stupid_ mistake?”

“I don’t know.” Gavin mumbled.

“What was that?”

“I said I don’t fucking know!”

“Right,” Michael said with a sigh, before turning the ignition. “Fucking great. Well, when you fucking find out, let me know, yeah?”

Michael pulled the car up off the curve, and headed for the highway. “Where are we going?” Gavin asked.

“Home. I can’t deal with this shit right now.”

The rest of the drive was silent.

OoO

“What do you think?” Chris asked, tossing the photographs down onto the table.

“Well, it’s definitely them.” Miles said, sipping from his coffee. He picked up one of the photos, studying them. “Michael Jones and Gavin Free.” He said with a shake of his head. “Never thought we’d see them around here again.”

“Do you think they’re planning something?” Brandon asked, looking up to Burnie, who stood at the head of the table. Miles slid the file over, and Burnie opened it, flicking through the photos.

“Hard to tell.” Burnie shrugged. “But if they are planning something, we’ve gotta be ready. Can’t let them take us by surprise again.” Burnie turned to the other officer sitting by his desk, half focused on Burnie, half focused on his laptop.

“Right Kerry?”


	7. Reactant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan arrives, Michael and Ray have a heart-to-heart, and somebody is exposed for who they really are.

Chapter Six: Reactant

Dan arrived at the house the next day, carrying a large duffel bag and a bright smile. Gavin was on him immediately, grinning as he ran towards his friend and hugging him tightly. “B! Be bloody careful, before I fall over and crush all the fucking weapons, you twat!” Dan exclaimed, but he laughed anyway, hands tightening around Gavin’s waist.

It was an odd friendship Gavin and Dan had. As far as anyone knew, Dan as the only person Gavin had any contact with from his time in England. For Gavin, Dan had been the one constant in his entire life. Dan was there at the drop of a hat, and whenever Gavin called, Dan answered.

Dan could tell instantly that there was something wrong with Gavin by the way his hug lasted a little too long, and by the way Michael stood in a doorway down the hall, frowning intensely at him.

“Alright, bloody get off me then.” Dan said, and Gavin stepped aside, smiling. But Dan could tell that his smile was far from genuine. “Where’s Jack?” Dan asked.

Jack padded down the stairs. “I’m here, let’s go into the meeting room. Geoff’s already there.”

“Perfect.”

oOo

Gavin was antsy the entire hour that Dan was locked inside with Geoff and Jack. He wanted nothing more than to sit with Dan for a bit, and just _talk_ about everything. About Michael. Dan was the only other person who knew about Michael cheating on Gavin. And after Gavin had convinced him not to rip Michael’s throat out, Dan had been down for a visit in a heartbeat, letting Gavin stay with him for a few days in a hotel, before the Brit felt ready to go back home, and patch things up.

But the fact still remained that Michael had been unfaithful. It was something the two of them had just been trying to push down and forget about, but with Lindsay’s impending arrival mixed in with Dan’s visit, it was like a Jack in a Box, slowly being wound up until it would eventually explode to the surface.

Gavin and Michael had not spoken since their argument the previous day. And that night, Michael had disappeared up into his old bedroom on top of Gavin’s. and Gavin slept alone for the first time in a year.

And by slept, he meant more toss and turn for hours, before retreating to the garden and smoking a cigarette. He spotted Ray, for a second, up in his window smoking something that didn't quite look like a cigarette, and staring up at the stars. For a second, it had made Gavin think that he wasn’t quite so alone. But then, a shadowy figure had appeared behind Ray, kissing against his neck lightly, and the window had been closed, making Gavin feel more alone than ever.

He dwelled on this as he sat upstairs in the guest room Dan would be staying in, legs crossed on the bed. He lit up another cigarette, but the smell of the smoke just made him choke. He knew that Michael didn't like it, and that’s what made him just want to do it more.

But eventually, he gave up gagging and tossed the cigarette out the window.

That’s when Gavin slowly began to cry, a few hot tears falling down onto his cheeks, as he thought about how fucked up this all was. He loved Michael, more than anything, and he couldn’t imagine his life without him. But it was all just too fucked up.

Gavin flinched when he heard the door click open behind him, and he turned to see Dan, eyes wide with concern.

“Gav, what’s wrong?” He asked.

Then Gavin _really_ broke down. Dan was at his side within a second, arms wrapped tightly around him, one hand stroking through his hair comfortingly. Gavin sobbed out the whole story, of Michael and Lindsay and everything just going to shit in barely a few days, and Dan sat patiently and listened, until eventually, Gavin’s sobs grew drier and quieter, until he finally sat up, rubbing at his eyes with a fist.

“Feel better?” Dan asked with a soft smile.

Gavin shrugged. “I dunno. A little maybe.”

“You should talk to him.”

“I tried that b, I did! But we just ended up arguing all over again. He’s still got his stupid jealousy issues over you, and no matter how much I want to, I still haven’t totally forgiven him over Lindsay. We’re both just too fucked up for this fucking relationship.”

Dan sighed. “Gavin, don’t say that. You two’ve made it work for a year, don’t throw it away now. I’m not saying that Michael deserves forgiveness, and to be honest, B, he doesn’t deserve _you._ But he’s what makes you happy, isn’t he?” Gavin nodded. “Then that’s good enough for me. And I think you should just give him a chance to calm down and explain himself.”

Gavin nodded, sniffing. “Thanks Dan, but in the meantime, I’m glad you’re going to be here for a few days anyway.” He smiled weakly.

Dan squirmed slightly. Gavin looked up at him, arching an eyebrow.

“You are gonna be here, right B?”

Dan scratched at the back of his neck. “Yeah. that’s the thing Gav, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you… the army, uh, they want me to go back on tour.”

“What?! I thought you were finished!”

“I was but…” Dan sighed. “I think… I think I just miss it. I can’t do this anymore Gavin, laying low and helping out with petty crime. I can’t sit still these days, I just need to get back out there. Do some good.”

“What’s so fucking good about war?” Gavin spat. Dan shook his head.

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. Now come on.” He placed a hand on Gavin’s shoulder, but the Brit shrugged it off. “Don’t be difficult b. I love you, and I’m gonna miss you every day but… I think we just need some time apart until you and Michael can sort everything out, you know?”

Gavin could feel his lower lip starting to shake. “B- don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry Gavin.”

“When do you leave?” Gavin asked.

Dan sighed, gazing down at the bed. “Tomorrow.”

“Are you even staying the night?” Gavin asked, his voice slowly resorting to a whisper. Sighing, Dan shook his head.

“I’m really sorry.”

Gavin let himself fall back on the bed, blinking away the tears that formed in his eyes. Slowly, he felt Dan lay beside him, the bed dipping from his weight. Gavin turned over, curling into the man he considered his first love, his best mate, his _family_.

“I’m leaving at six.” Dan said. Gavin glanced up to the clock on the wall, which read three thirty-seven.

“Sleep now then. Just lay here and sleep with me. Just for a bit, for old times sake?” Gavin asked, voice shaking. Dan silently nodded, and turned, pulling Gavin into him, cuddling him tightly.

Gavin sighed and closed his eyes. Maybe if he went to sleep, when he woke up, everything would be okay. Maybe.

oOo

“Dude, fucking talk to me.” Ray said, taking Michael by surprise as he appeared in front of the redhead, slamming his fist on the table. Michael looked up at Ray.

“What?” he growled.

“Gavin disappeared upstairs looking like he was about to cry or something about an hour ago and now nobody knows where Dan is. Not to mention that you’ve been fucking stewing in your own rage since Dan fucking walked through the front door. So I wanna talk”

“Leave it Ray.” Michael sighed, looking away.

“No. I’ve heard that phrase enough to last a lifetime, and now, I’ve stopped listening. We used to be better friends, believe it or not Michael… now fucking talk to me, please.”

Michael breathed deeply. “Alright.” He said. He glanced around the empty kitchen, but knew that any of the other guys could just walk in. “Can we… go somewhere though?”

Ray smiled. “Sure.”

OoO

The two rode on Ray’s bike all the way down to the end of the Los Santos pier, where Ray parked . They skipped the fairground, instead choosing to sit on one of the benches facing the seafront. Ray lit up a cigarette, and Michael frowned.

“Do you really have to fucking smoke that shit right here?” he asked.

“This is just a cigarette Michael, I’m driving remember.” Ray said with a laugh, totally misunderstanding Michael’s request.

“Do you have to smoke, like at all?” Michael asked. Ray rolled his eyes, but tossed the lit cigarette into the ocean.

“I forgot. Sorry.”

“No problem.” Michael sighed, slouching on the bench. “I think Gavin’s started back on it again. I can smell it on his clothes.”

Ray shrugged. “What's going on with you two man? Because don’t think that everyone in the group hasn’t noticed the way you’ve barely uttered a word to each other the past few days.”

“It’s Lindsay.” Michael deadpanned. It surprised Ray how quickly Michael moved to the point. If this was Gavin, he’d dance around the subject, cleverly avoiding the original question. But Michael didn't fuck around. “Gavin doesn’t want Lindsay to come and stay with us, because he’s worried I'll fuck her again.”

“I though you and Lindsay broke up ages ago? Over a year, now!” Ray said, a confused look crossing his face. Michael just smiled, but he looked sad.

“Six months ago, I went out to a bar. She was there. We both got pissed, and I ended up fucking her in a hotel room. Gavin found out. We broke up for about a week, he fucked off and stayed with Dan. And then he came back. And everything went fucking peachy, until all this started back up again. He’s upset because he thinks I'll just fuck her again. I’m upset because every time we argue, he goes running back to his _b_. even now, they’re probably upstairs in Dan’s room, doing God knows what-”

“You fucking cheated on Gavin, that’s what you’re telling me?”

Michael frowned, and turned to Ray. “Yeah, I-”

Michael was cut off by Ray’s fist connecting with his nose. _Shit,_ Ray not have been extremely ripped, but _fuck_ he could throw a punch.

“What the fuck!”

“You fucking cheated on Gavin! You fucking asshole!”

“Ray, I-”

“No, shut up!” Ray shouted, shaking out his fist, and holding his knuckles. He tried not to show how much they hurt. Michael hung his body forwards between his knees, allowing the blood to flow through his nose.

“You cheated on Gavin, and you have the fucking audacity to be shitting on him because of _Dan_? You’re just fucking scared Michael. You’re scared that Gavin’s gonna do the same, but I assure you- he’s not! That fucking idiot, he loves you more than anything Michael, even if you apparently don’t fucking deserve it. He already forgave you once, and this is how you fucking behave?”

Michael had never seen Ray this angry. But he knew the thin Puerto Rican was fiercely loyal, and he really should’ve seen it coming.

“I’m just… I’m just pissed that after all this time, he still doesn’t trust me.”

“You’re fucked up, dude. You’re fucked up.” Ray said with a sigh, before aggressively pulling another cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. Michael opened his mouth to protest, but one glare from Ray shut him back up. Michael swallowed his protests, and tried to breathe in the salted sea air.

“I just don’t know what to do Ray. I want things to go back to how they used to be but… every time we talk we end up arguing.”

“I'll tell you what you’re gonna do, asshole. You’re gonna go back, and fucking grovel at Gavin’s feet to forgive you for being an asshole, again. And when Lindsay gets here, you’re gonna fucking apologise to her too.”

“What, apologise for what?!”

“You really have no idea, do you?” Ray asked. Michael shook his head, and Ray smirked. “Michael, you’ve been in love with Gavin for a lot longer than you fucking realise. Back when you were dating Lindsay, it was almost painful to watch her have to compete with Gavin for your attention, and loosing every time. It was fucking sad. And then what, seven-eight months after your breakup you meet her in a bar and just fuck her again? You can't fucking play with peoples feelings like that Michael.”

Michael sighed, looking down at his hands. “I-I didn't even realise. Fuck.” He sighed, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. “I’ve fucked it all up, haven’t I?”

“Yeah, you have.” Ray agreed.

“How- how am I gonna apologise to Gavin? What am I gonna say?”

Ray shrugged. “That’s up to you bro. but give him a while first, okay? Vav’s pretty upset at the moment, and I think he needs to spend some time with Dan for a bit.” Michael nodded. “Oh, and also, stop staring at Dan like you’re about to drive a bullet through his skull, it’s uncomfortable to fucking watch.”

Michael just laughed, and the two fell into a comfortable silence, nothing but the sound of Ray occasionally inhaling on his cigarette, and then exhaling smoke over the pier. Michael breathed in the scent. Maybe he could get used to it.

Ray finished the cigarette and tossed it again over the side, before turning to Michael, hands clasped together.

“Michael… can I tell you something? If you promise not to tell anyone?” he asked. Michael looked to the guy he had once considered his best friend. That he still thought of as a brother.

“Of course.” He said without hesitation. Ray sighed.

“Promise you won't be mad?”

Michael smiled. “Pinky promise.” He reached out his little finger, and Ray extended his own, the two locking together over the distance between them on the park bench.

“So… I’ve sort of maybe been fucking Ryan.” Ray said in a fast mumble, so under his breath that Michael had to lean in to ensure he caught it. But he _definitely_ caught it.

“You’ve been _what?!_ ”

“You promised not to be mad!” Ray shouted panicked, waving his pinky finger in the air. Michael inhaled deeply, trying to remain calm.

“Ray…” he hissed out. “He tried to _kill_ you.”

Ray shook his head. “He didn't Michael, he- if he wanted to kill me, I’d be dead. He couldn’t do it.”

“Uh, Ray- the fact that he even tried at all would be enough for me! I think it’s fucking great that you and Ryan are getting along again, for the crews sake but- I didn't think you’d suddenly become fucking _boyfriends._ ”

Ray rolled his eyes. “We’re not _boyfriends_ , Michael. We’re not… anything, really. We’re just trying to take things slow, you know? Don’t wanna rush into anything either of us might regret, is all.”

“Oh.” Michael said. “So, you’ve _fucked_ , but you’re not in a practicing relationship?” he scoffed. “That’s what you’re trying to tell me?”

Ray blushed. “Uh, basically- yeah. I mean, Ryan loves me, and I love him too but- we’re not… you know.”

“Ray do you even hear yourself?” Michael laughed. “You love him, but you’re ‘just taking it slow’? These days Ray, either you’re together or you're not. There’s no taking it slow anymore, especially not in our line of work. It’s all or nothing, that’s just the fucking way it is. And _Ryan,_ of all people?! How can you even trust him, Ray, after all this?”

Ray looked down at his checked vans, sighing. “Yeah- you have a point. Maybe I can’t trust him, not yet… but I love him Michael. You of all people have gotta understand that- no matter how _wrong_ I _know_ it is, I’d do anything for him.”

Michael slouched against the bench, and instantly felt guilty as he looked at Ray’s forlorn, defeated expression. Ray fucking _was_ his best friend, no _consideration_ about it. And he had confided in Michael as a friend.

“I’m sorry.” He said. “I can understand how you feel. I know what love feels like.”

“Thanks.” Ray said, smiling softly. “I really think I love him Michael. And I just wanted someone else to confide in, I guess.”

“Wait, someone _else_?”

Ray blushed. “Okay, so maybe Gavin knew.”

“Gavin knew this _whole time?_ ” Michael asked. Ray nodded, preparing for the hurl of verbal abuse from Michael’s mouth, but instead the redhead just laughed. “Fucking morons. Both of you. I fucking hate you. But I love you, okay buddy?”

Ray smiled. “Remember when we used to be better friends?” he joked. Michael grinned back at him.

“None of that used to shit. Now let’s fucking go back home.”

oOo

The house felt empty, for the first time since the crew returned. With Michael and Ray gone, Geoff searched around for Gavin and Dan. He found the two asleep, curled into each other on top of Dan’s bed, and smiled stupidly to himself. He knew Michael and Gavin had had some kind of fight recently, and usually, Dan was able to pull Gavin out of his depressed, mopey state.

Jack was holed up in the meeting room, sorting out God knows what on his fucking computer, so Geoff searched around for Ryan. Something had been off about him, that was for sure. Geoff had noticed it instantly, and it wasn’t just whatever was going on between him and Ray.

Geoff laughed at how sneaky the two thought they were being, but it was really fucking obvious. Still, he would wait until they wanted to come clean, because some of the slower members of the group hadn’t quite caught on. However, Geoff was 90% sure that Gavin knew, by the dopey smiles the brit shot at the two of them at every opportunity. Gavin was a sucker for a romance, after all.

Geoff found Ryan in one of the main rooms, sat down on the couch, playing a game on the Xbox that Geoff didn't recognise. Silently, Geoff crept behind him, a small jump scare already planned out in his mind.

“Hey Geoff.”

“Shit.”

Okay. Maybe Geoff had forgotten that Ryan was impossible to fucking surprise, go figure. Geoff flopped down next to Ryan on the couch, and looked up to the screen.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Some fps, I can't even fucking remember the name to be honest. Ray recommended it, it’s actually pretty good.  Wanna play?” he asked.

“Sure.”

Geoff picked up one of the controllers, and Ryan quickly reset so Geoff could play co-op with him. They played together in silence for a short while, before Geoff turned to the gent, and paused his screen.

“Ryan.”

“Geoff.”

“What’s going on with you and Ray?”

Ryan cleared his throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said, voice steady.

“Okay.” Geoff shrugged. He wasn’t going to push for answers Ryan was obviously not going to give. “Next question: What happened to _you_ last year?”

Ryan tensed. “W-what.”

“Don’t think I haven’t fucking noticed Ryan!  You disappeared for a fucking year without a trace, and now, every time we all talk about our own experience of the past year, you just tense and say nothing. It’s fucking weird, okay?”

“It’s not important.” Ryan sighed, shaking his head.

“Yeah, but it is. Because you fucking did something Ryan, and I think it was something bad. I know you Ryan, you’re a… moderately good man, when you want to be. But something’s changed. I don’t know what it is but… you’re different.”

“Open your eyes, Geoff!” Ryan snapped. “We’re all different.”

Ryan stood up, and left without bothering to switch off his Xbox, closing the door behind him. Geoff sighed, tossing his controller out of his hand and at the wall.

Ryan was right, no matter how annoyed it made Geoff. They’d all changed. And as Geoff glanced at the smashed remains of the controller, he realised that he wasn’t sure if it was for the worse or for the better.

oOo

Gavin slowly began to stir out of his slumber, tossing and turning. He rubbed his eyes, and yawned loudly. Dan’s arms were still tightly around him, and Gavin breathed in his warm, musky scent. Dan smelt like home.

Gavin glanced up at the clock. 6:09.

He turned, wriggling out of Dan’s grasp. He didn't realise he had slept so long. He didn't realise how tired he was. He hadn’t slept much the night before, and Gavin was just starting to realise that maybe he couldn’t get to sleep if nobody’s arms were around him. It was nice to actually be able to sleep. However, something still didn't feel right. Dan was lovely, but he wasn’t Michael.

“Dan, b, wake up.” Gavin whispered, shoving Dan lightly. Dan stirred, yawning loudly.

“What time is it?” he mumbled.

“Ten past six.”

Dan shot up, almost head-butting Gavin in the process. “I’ve gotta go, I'll miss my flight!” he exclaimed, stumbling out of bed and reaching for his bag.

“Dan, It’s fine- Jack or… maybe Geoff will give you a lift in one of the supercars. You’ll be fine.”

“Yeah?” Dan asked. Gavin nodded, and the two headed out the room, running down the stairs.

Geoff and Jack were in the kitchen, and Michael and Ray were in the hallway, both talking quietly. Gavin and Michael caught eye contact for a few brief seconds as Gavin came down the stairs, just as Geoff and Jack emerged, interested in the commotion.

“Hey.” Michael mumbled.

“Hey.” Gavin breathed, before turning to Geoff. “Uh, Geoff- Dan needs to be at the airport like… now. Do you think we’ve got a car fast enough?”

“Leaving so soon?” Geoff asked.

Gavin looked at Dan sadly. “Dan’s going back on tour. He’s going back to Afghanistan.” He explained.

The group fell silent, each of them sharing worried looks. Nobody knew what to say, as Dan awkwardly stood by the door, scratching his neck.

“I'll drive him.”

Gavin looked at Michael, shocked. Michael just shrugged.

“Hey, the only car we have fast enough is the adder and Gavin, I know I taught you a thing or two about driving, but I don’t think you’re quite ready for the inner city.”

“Thanks mate.” Dan said with a small smile.

Michael just nodded, and grabbed his car keys off the hook by the door. Dan opened it, but Gavin ran into him, hugging his friend tightly.

“Be safe out there.” He whispered into Dan’s neck. Dan hugged him back tightly.

“I promise. I'll visit when I can. Love ya, B.”

“Love you too.”

Michael swallowed thickly, but didn't comment. He caught eyes with Ray who smiled at him, in a way the Puerto Rican must have thought was reassuring. Michael turned to walk out the door towards his car, but he was stopped by Gavin’s hand on his wrist. Gavin kissed him once on the lips, and it was light, very chaste, but made Michael smile all the same.

Neither of them said anything to each other, but the connection was still there. Everything had changed, but maybe some things stayed the same.

oOo

An awkward silence filled the car as they sped through the streets, but Dan was never good in awkward silences.

“This car _is_ bloody fast.” He commented, running his fingers across the interior.

“Yep.”

“Thanks Michael. For this. Means a lot.” Dan said, awkwardly holding his hands clasped together.

“No problem Dan.”

“It’s just… I know you don’t like me, or whatever but-”

Michael sighed deeply. “I-I like you Dan. I do. I just… I get really fucking jealous sometimes. That’s all. You’re a good man.” He admitted. He felt like he needed to get it off his chest, and to be honest, it was what Dan deserved. He was a good fucking guy, heck, he was jetting off to go and fight for his country. And just in case, God forbid, anything happened to Dan overseas, Michael would feel guilty if they left things badly.

“You’re a good man too, Michael.” Dan said. “I just think that sometimes, you forget that.”

oOo

Michael walked back through the living room and flopped down on the sofa, sitting opposite Gavin. The two caught eyes for a second, but said nothing. They could save it, for now.

“It’s been a long fucking day, wanna just order pizza or something?” Geoff suggested.

“Sounds top.” Gavin mumbled pulling out his phone. He went to dial in the number for the pizza delivery company, but as distracted by his obnoxious text tone (of his own voice) going off. It was from Dan. Gavin frowned as he read to himself.

_There’s a threat in your group. Somebody isn’t telling you everything._

_Be careful, b._

_Dan x_

“What you got there?” Geoff asked, frowning at Gavin’s concerned look.

“It’s… from Dan.”

“So?”

“He says… we’ve got a threat.” Gavin said, voice quieting. The room was filled with silence until slowly, Ryan felt four pairs of eyes slowly turn to this. Then, Ryan glanced to Ray, whose gaze was fixed on the ground.

“Guys?” he asked hesitantly. Nobody said anything, until Gavin cleared his throat.

“Um… Ry, is there- is there something that you want to tell us, maybe?” Gavin asked. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, folding his arms and refusing to make eye-contact.

“You think… you think this threat is _me_?” Ryan asked.

“It’s just… Ry, Dan wouldn’t lie, not about something like this… and- and you’re the only one who hasn’t told us anything about what you did. everyone know you did something bad… you must’ve but, you won't say.”

“I’m not a threat, I’ve not done anything to you guys!” Ryan protested.

“Nobody’s accusing you of anything Ryan-” Jack said, trying to calm the situation. But Ryan was being anything but calm.

“It fucking sounds like you are, all of you assholes!” Ryan said, standing up. The room turned silent again, the tension thick. Ryan swallowed thickly.

“I’m not guilty of anything.” He said.

“Then tell us where you went.”

Everyone turned to Ray, the only one able to hold eye contact with Ryan. Ray’s warm brown eyes felt like they were burning through Ryan’s skin, looking into him. Ryan swallowed again.

“Tell _me_ , Ryan. You said you did something bad. You said you weren’t a good guy… you said you went _crazy…_ ”

“Ray-”

“Just... just tell us what you did. please.” The last part came out as more of a whisper, as Ray tried to hold himself together. It didn't matter where Dan had gotten any of his information from, whether he was wrong or right about a threat in the crew… this was personal. Ray needed to know.

The five men’s eyes were trained on Ryan, each waiting for him to make a move. Ryan knew he was cornered, both literally and metaphorically. He couldn’t avoid this question with well placed sarcasm, or blatant lies. It was too late for lies. And as he gazed into Ray’s heartbroken eyes… he knew he had to be honest.

Slowly, Ryan sat back down, and sighed.

“Let me paint you a picture,”

“This time, last year. Louisiana. I- I had a plan, okay. I needed cash, and I needed it fast, so I found this bank… and I planned to rob it. But I knew I couldn’t do it alone. I couldn’t turn to anyone I knew, because I was laying low so… so I got a new crew together, of sorts. Me and four other guys.

“Marcus was the first. I met him in a supermarket, believe it or not, when I caught him messing with the sprinkler system and filling it with acid. Clever plan, ingenious really. I told him about my plan and… he loved it. We became good friends. He introduced me to the other guys. The twins, Roy and Craig. They weren’t bright, bless them, but they were good fighters. They were fiercely loyal, to us and each other.

“The last member was Rory. He was seventeen years old, and I saved him from the cops after he tried to hold up a diner and it went wrong. He told me all about the places he’d robbed and the plans he had. He was a bright fucking kid, maybe the smartest kid I knew. I asked him why he turned to crime. He was doing all of it for his little sister, Mary-Jane, who couldn’t have been older than six. She stayed with a foster family, but he sent her money, which he wired through Child Services, claiming them as anonymous donations. Fucking smartest idea I’d heard for a while.

“So I invited him to join us. His first big heist. But you see… that’s when I started thinking. Five of us, that’s a five way split. And I needed more than that, you know? I think I was blinded, for minutes, by the greed. And… I don’t even remember doing it but… suddenly, we had disabled the panic alarms and… Marcus was dead in front of me. I fucking took him out without even blinking.

“And then I knew I had to take the rest of them out. Because if any of them found out what I did I- I’d be dead, wouldn’t I? So I crept downstairs, where Roy and Craig were stuffing the money into the bags, and I took both of them out. I'll never forget the way Craig ran to his fucking brother’s body, screaming like a wild fucking animal. I took the money and… I tried, fuck I _tried_ to just get out but… Rory he- he was supposed to just be behind the scenes, you know, outside on the laptops? But… I turned and there he was. Pistol fucking shaking in his hand as he watched me take the bags off of the twins body. And I swear I saw a tear slip down his cheek. And I said to him… I told him I was so fucking sorry… and then I took his life. A seventeen year old fucking kid, and I shot him down, without hesitation.

“I took the money, and I fucking ran away. And I haven’t been back since, because I’m too much of a fucking coward to face my mistakes.”

Ryan sighed, resting his head in his hands. The room remained silent. “Are you fucking happy?” he mumbled. “I’m a fucking murderer. I’m a threat because I can’t fucking control myself… I don’t know when I’m going to just… lock on like that again. It’s happened before and… I can't control it.”

“This has happened before?” Geoff asked.

Ryan nodded. “I murdered a stripper in a back alley because she looked at me funny. I put three bullets through a guy in Delaware because he scratched my bike. A druggie tried to mug me for twenty dollars and I beat him to death with my bare hands.” Ryan reached his hands out in front of them, turning them over and looking at them, ashamed. “And I barely remember each time. It’s like I black out, and when I come to… somebody’s dead. That’s why I’m a threat, okay?”

“And we have no way of knowing when, or who, do we?” Geoff asked. Ryan shook his head.

“I understand if you want me to leave.”

Geoff stood up, walking over to Ryan. He placed a hand on the man’s shoulder. “Listen to me Ryan. We fucking shouldn’t, but we trust you. One hundred percent. I still believe that somewhere, down in that fucked up mind of yours… you’re a good man. Maybe you’ll turn on us, and I'll regret it but… I’m not kicking you out of the crew. Not now, not ever.”

“Geoff, I’m a fucking monster. How long before I take one of you out, huh?”

“No you’re not. The amount of times you’ve saved my ass, let alone these assholes? You’re not a monster Ryan. You’ve still got some good left in you.”

“Good guy Ryan!” Gavin exclaimed, smiling through the fresh tears dampening his cheeks. At some point in the story, he had moved across the room to sit next to Michael, and the two had their hands clasped together tightly. It was a world away from the in-depth P-D-A and the intense cuddling the gang were used to seeing but… it was a step. It was a sigh that things had changed.

Ryan looked up to the one person who’s opinion really mattered. He looked over to Ray, who sat with a blank expression on his face.

Ryan raised one of his eyebrows.

_Forgive me?_

Ray tilted his head the most minimal amount, which Ryan could barely consider a nod.

The silence was then interrupted by Gavin’s text alert, which caused the Brit to jump, mumbling _“bloody hell!”  
_ This time, Gavin read aloud before even skimming the message.

_Oh, and before you all turn on Ryan…_

_< Attached_Image1009.jpg>_

“SHIT.” Gavin exclaimed, as the photograph opened on his phone.

“What is it, asshole?” Geoff asked, reaching to snatch the phone from Gavin’s hand. He looked to the screen, and felt his heart drop in his chest. It was a photo of Kerry, leaving the police station in full uniform, standing next to a man Geoff knew from college as Gus Sorola, a.k.a the Los Santos Lieutenant.

“Geoff?” Jack asked, worry evident in his voice. Geoff turned the phone screen so everyone could look.

“Fucking call Kerry. Get him here, now.” Geoff spat.


	8. Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The interrogation of Kerry, Lindsay enters, and Michael and Gavin finally talk it out.

Chapter Seven: Relief

“I don’t know what it was that couldn’t wait until the morning Jack.” Kerry said with a yawn as he followed Jack through the dark corridors of Geoff’s house. “I mean, usually I'll show up at the drop of a hat, you know me but… I’ve had a fucking long day.”

“Hm.”

“And, oh my buddy Miles- you wouldn’t believe what he did today Jack, he-”

Kerry was cut off by a hand over his mouth and an arm around his neck. There was a cloth being pressed against his lips, covering his nose. A faint chemical burn was ripping through him, burning him from the inside out. He couldn’t breathe. Suddenly, his head was swimming.

“Jack?” he tried to mumble out, looking at the man who was still standing in front of him, a stony expression on his face.

And then, Kerry’s world faded into darkness.

OOo

Kerry awoke strapped to a chair in a room he didn't recognise, which had steel walls and dark, tinted windows. Around him stood six men that he thought he knew. But they looked different.

They looked angry.

“Guys?”

“Don’t fucking speak.” Geoff said, cracking his knuckles. Kerry went to protest, but one look from the gent had him clamping his mouth shut. His hands were locked in handcuffs and linked to the chair handles, not giving him a lot of space for movement.

“Kerry. Kerry… I- we… we thought you were alright, you know? We trusted you. We’ve been using you for a long time and… I don’t know, kid, I just never thought it would come down to this.” Geoff said, a strange ominous vibe settling in the room. Then Geoff pulled a gun out of his back pocket, flicking the safety off. Kerry gasped as he felt the gun being pressed into his neck.

“Geoff, Geoff! No, please!” he begged. “Whatever it is- I’m sorry- I, I'll do anything!”

“Really?” Geoff asked with a laugh. Kerry nodded. Slowly, Geoff drew his gun back, handing it to Michael. Then, he laughed. Kerry joined in the laughter nervously… the guys, they were just playing around, right?

“Why the fuck didn't you tell us you were a cop, Kerry!” Geoff shouted, the laughter cutting abruptly. Kerry flinched, eyes wide.

“Geoff- I can explain.”

“Fucking save it!” Geoff yelled. “This whole time, you’ve been double crossing us? That’s how it is? We fucking treated you well! We always paid you more than you fucking ever asked for, and if you were ever in trouble… we probably would’ve taken a bullet for you- each of us. And this is how you fucking repay us?”

Geoff launched forwards, hands securing around Kerry’s throat and squeezing tightly.

“Please Geoff,” he choked. “Let me explain!”

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now. Put that in your fucking explanation.”

Geoff released Kerry and stepped back, allowing the kid to catch his breath back. Kerry sighed, glancing at the floor.

“Listen, guys,” he breathed “I’ve been a cop since I got out of college. I’ve always been a cop, okay? But have you seen my salary? It’s fucking bullshit. I get paid fucking less than half of what Burns and Sorola get, and it’s not fucking fair. Even Heyman gets more than me, and he’s the biggest fucking moron on the force! I got into some shit with my landlord and… I needed money, okay?

“So I got in touch with some people… and that’s how I met you guys. And not once since us working together, have I _ever_ ratted you out. I swear to God! I fucking end up covering your asses half the time. I mean, I know the LSPD aren’t the best force in the fucking country, but they definitely would have caught you by now if it wasn’t for me. Even now, I’m still covering your asses! I saw you,” he turned to look at Michael and Gavin, “The both of you, in that fucking car, scoping out the bank. Someone got photos of you, and my superior showed them to me! He asked me if I thought the crew was reforming. I told him he was being paranoid! You should be fucking thanking me, you assholes!”

Kerry was slowly feeling the anger in him rise. He knew that he needed to calm down, considering the men in front of him probably wouldn’t hesitate in mowing him down.

“I’ve even been in touch with one of your contacts.” He added. “Lindsay Tuggey, she’s been going over some stuff with me to do with the building and security and stuff for your fucking bank heist. We’ve been fucking working _together_.”

The room was silent as Kerry finished, panting and flicking his hair out of his face. It was almost uncomfortable, and fear washed over Kerry like a cold wind. Had he said too much? Been too harsh? Was this how he was gonna die?

Geoff moved towards him slowly, and he winced, throwing his head back to brace himself. But then, he felt the handcuffs unclick from around his wrists. Then, he was being dragged to his feet.

“You should've fucking told us you were a cop Kerry.” Geoff sighed. Kerry looked to the ground.

“I know. I’m really sorry Geoff.”

Then, Geoff surprised him, pulling him into a tight hug. Kerry returned it awkwardly, but Geoff smelt like Jack Daniel’s and hair products. Kerry had never been much of a hugger.

Then Geoff released him, and stepped back. “You’re a good kid Kerry. Sorry about… you know, threatening to kill you and stuff.”

Kerry straightened his t-shirt. “It’s okay.” He laughed.

“What about Lindsay?” Michael asked. Gavin breathed deeply. He wanted to lash out, but then he remembered how Michael had acted with Dan earlier. Michael was making an effort, so why couldn’t he?

“What about me?” a voice asked, causing them all to turn.

Lindsay stood in the doorway, dressed in a pair of simple dark jeans and a black leather jacket. She looked almost exactly the same as the last time Michael had seen her. Shoulder-length red hair, thick bangs, a smirk on her face.

“Lindsay.” He breathed.

“Jones.” She smiled. “Long time no see.”

oOo

A year could change a person, that was something that every member of the Fake AH crew had learnt the hard way. The time had changed them all for both the good and the worse.

But Lindsay’s change was different.

She was still the same, in retrospect. She wore a grin on her face, and as she got excited her bangs bounced up and down the way they always had. Her desktop wallpaper on her laptop was still three kittens in a basket. She still had a google chrome bookmark to ‘Funnyanimalvideos.net’.

But still, she was different.

When she smiled and laughed, the smile didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes were cold, and hard and _tired._ Michael had never seen Lindsay look tired in her life. She was always on the go, always ready for the next move, the next scene in the fucking NBC drama that was their life. But that spark was gone.

Alongside ‘funnyanimalvideos.net’ were several other unnamed links to websites Michael didn't want to think about after he recognized logos from the C.I.A, the F.B.I and other vague government organisations that he had put down to pure myth.

As he tried to pull her in for a greeting hug, she shrunk away from his touch. And it wasn’t just him.

Ryan smiled at her, the two had always been good friends, but she couldn’t meet his eyes. She could barely shake hands with Geoff for more than two seconds. As she sat at the kitchen table, her back was unnaturally straight, posture impeccable.

Back when he had known her, Lindsay was more of a ‘drape yourself over whoever sits beside you in an effort to secure comfort’ kind of girl. He noticed all these things pretty much in the first five minutes of being re-introduced to the girl he once considered marrying.

Still, he chose to say nothing.

Lindsay went over the plan, spouting a load of technical bullshit that apparently only Geoff, Jack and Ryan understood. Ray looked like he was falling asleep where he sat, face resting on the palms of his hands and Gavin… Gavin looked like he was trying, which was all Michael could really ask for. They hadn’t really had a proper chance to talk yet due to the situation with Ryan and then Kerry and then _Lindsay_ , but Michael knew they were well on their way to finally sorting things.

He understood now that what he had done was unforgivable, and he should never have believed Gavin would forgive him so easily. Now, Michael would be okay if Gavin never forgave him, as long as he was happy. He just needed to get him alone, talk things through.

And if Gavin didn't want to fix things… Michael was going to have to be okay with that.

And then there was Lindsay. Ray was right, Michael did need to apologise to her. Not only was she not being a total asshole towards him or Gavin, but she was helping them out. She didn't mention their last night together. She didn't mention anything.

Lindsay talked through the plan with them well into the night, before eventually, Ray’s head slammed against the table enough to wake him up, and even Gavin was beginning to snore quietly. Ryan gently helped Ray, who was apparently slightly concussed, sit up and drink from his glass of water, and Geoff took the more conventional method of kicking Gavin in the shin, hard.

“Ow! Bloody hell Geoff!”

The gent just chuckled, and ruffled Gavin’s hair roughly, making him frown in annoyace.

“Well. I’m knackered, don’t know about you lot but… I think I might turn in.” Gavin said with a yawn, stretching upwards like a cat.

“Yeah, you’re right. We should all go the fuck to sleep,” Geoff agreed. He turned to Lindsay. “You’re more than welcome to stay the night, Lindsay.”

The redhead just shook her head, closing her laptop. “No, it’s fine. I’ve got a place to crash not far from here, it’s no trouble.”

Slowly, everyone began standing up from the table, and moving in the direction of their separate rooms to get some sleep. Lindsay zipped up her jacket and began packing up her laptop, until it was just her, Gavin, and Michael in the room.

“Uh, Michael… are you, are you coming to bed?” Gavin asked. His fucking puppy eyes were as wide a saucers and he looked almost unsure of his own question, causing Michael to swallow thickly.

“Uh, yeah Gav- I'll be along in a minute I just… I need to talk to Lindsay, for a sec.” he said. Gavin nodded once, and with a final look to Lindsay, he turned in the direction of his room. Michael sighed as he watched him walk away.

“What’s up Jones?” Lindsay asked, zipping up her bag. She didn't bother making eye contact.

“I-uh, Lindsay, fuck- I just…”

“Spit it out.” She deadpanned, slinging the bag over her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” she asked, confused.

“For- for everything. For messing you around when we were dating and… and for that night. It shouldn’t have happened and… it was wrong of me to take advantage of you.”

“Michael… what the _fuck_ are you talking about?”

Michael felt his anger start to rise, and he swallowed dryly, trying to keep calm. “You want me to say it, is that it?” he asked. “I’m sorry- is that not enough?”

“ _What_ are you talking about?” Lindsay asked again, her face twisting into confusion. Michael clutched his fist.

“Oh you know what, fuck this. Fuck you!” he hissed, standing up from his chair. “You won't except my apologies, fine. If you’re bitter or whatever, that’s your fucking problem. Me and Gavin… we’re happy, okay? So fucking deal with it.”

“Michael! I get what you’re apologising for, when we were dating, believe me- you weren’t the best partner I’ve ever had, sure. And I’m fucking happy for you and Gavin but… this other shit, this ‘night’ or whatever, I’ve no fucking idea what you’re talking about!” Lindsay yelled at Michael’s retreating form. The boy stopped dead in his tracks, turning back around.

“You seriously don’t remember?” he asked.

Lindsay shook her head. “I’m fucking lost. And you know what, I really don’t wanna know. Goodnight Michael.”

Lindsay turned, leaving Michael with nothing but a blurred streak of red hair and the squeak of her boots against the kitchen tiles. He stopped for a moment, breathing deeply.

Honestly, he felt hurt. How could she _not remember?_

As he walked through the garden, he let his mind wander back to the night. He was drunk, that was obvious but Lindsay… she was tipsy, sure- but she wasn’t _wasted._ It was wrong of him to sleep with her intoxicated anyway but… he was sure she’d remember it.

Was she just lying to him, to help him move on?

He shook his head as he reached the door to his and Gavin’s annex. This wasn’t time to be thinking of Lindsay… he needed to sort things out with his boi. He slipped his key into the door, and walked in.

Gavin was sat on the bed, just wearing one of Michael’s old My Little Pony T-shirts and a pair of boxers. His legs were crossed, and he was looking down into his hands, wringing them. Then, as Michael entered, their eyes met.

“Hey.” Michael said, unzipping his jacket and slipping off his shoes.

“Hi.”

Things became awkward for a few seconds, just Michael resting against the door silently, and Gavin, sat on the bed drumming his fingers against his knee rhythmically.

The silence became unbearable as Michael pulled off his beanie, and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’ve uh… I’ve been thinking of getting  a haircut.” He said. “You always said my hair looked nice short.”

Gavin shrugged. “Yeah, it does look nice short but- I don’t know, I like it long too. It’s nice to…” he cut himself off, and sighed “Never mind.”

“Have something to hold on to?” Michael offered with a small smile.

“Yeah.” Gavin admitted with a laugh and a light blush. “Michael?” he asked. “Why the fuck are we talking about haircuts?”

Michael shrugged. “I guess I just couldn’t handle the silence. And I didn't want to go to sleep.”

“Why not?” Gavin asked.

“I can’t get to sleep without you.” Michael admitted. Gavin smiled.

“Me neither.” He glanced down at the bed again, and then back up to Michael. “Did you, uh, did you wanna get in bed? With me?” he asked.

Michael nodded, and quickly unbuttoned his jeans, letting them rest on the floor before he slowly climbed into the bed, under the duvet. Gavin did the same, pulling the cover up to his collarbone, but letting his arms rest over the top.

“Did you, uh, wanna come here?” Michael asked, raising his arm. Gavin looked as if he was heavily considering the idea for a second, before he silently nodded and rolled over, resting by Michael’s side, with his head on his shoulder. Michael’s arm came down, and wrapped around him. The gesture was so familiar, but made him sigh contently. It felt right, having Gavin in his arms like this.

“I’m really sorry Michael.” Gavin whispered. “About buggering off with Dan and that. I know it makes you uncomfortable how close we are and-”

“-Gavin. Dan’s your best friend.” Michael sighed. “And I have no right in dictating how you behave with him. It’s fucked up that I even thought that. You don’t need to apologise.”

Gavin shifted, so he could look up at Michael. “I-I didn't know what else to do. I just want things with us to go back to normal.”

“Then I should be the one saying sorry. I’m at fault here, not you. Fucking forget Dan, that was just me being an idiot. Gavin, what I did to you- Lindsay, everything I- I guess these past few days have just been a massive reality check for me, and what my life would be like without you.” Michael sighed. “I-I don’t think I can do it, Gavin, be without you. If that’s what you want, I understand but… I don’t think I can survive without you. But, me fucking cheating on you is _inexcusable_.”

“Michael- I forgive you, I really do!”

“No Gavin,” Michael shook his head. “You don’t, and you need to understand that _that’s okay_. I want us to go back to normal but, you need to understand that you’re perfectly entitled to be angry. It’s perfectly normal for you to scream and shout and throw me out and break my heart.” Michael breathed once, willing his voice to stay steady “And I’d let you Gavin-” he whispered “I’d let you break my heart a thousand fucking times if that’s what made you happy.”

“It won't.” Gavin whispered back, before shifting up further so he was at eye level with Michael. The two turned to look at each other, and Michael shook his head.

“Fuck, Gavin, why do you even want to be with me?” he asked. “I’m a fucking mess. I’m always angry, always trying to tell you what you can and can’t do. I’m a mess. You deserve better.”

“Don’t say that.” Gavin could feel his own words coming out as nothing more than choked sobs. His eyes were glazed with tears, and he leant forwards, kissing around Michael’s face desperately. “You’re perfect, Michael, to me you are! You keep saying you want me to choose for myself, and I am! I choose you, Michael Jones. I love you, alright? It’s always gonna be me and you, Team Nice Dynamite, yeah?”

“Really?” Michael whispered. Gavin gave out a half- laugh.

“Of course! Michael, you’re my boi!”

“You’re such a moron.” Michael said. “But you’re my moron. Now c’mere.”

The two met in a firm kiss, Gavin grinning the whole way. Michael was the first to pull, back, laughing like an idiot.

“I can’t fucking kiss you if you keep smiling like that, you asshole.”

“Michael!”

“ _Fuck,_ Gavin! Too much teeth, I’m gonna fucking cut myself!”

“ _Michael_!”

“Stop laughing! Your breath smells like orange soda!”

“ _Michael_ , you’re full of the vinegar tonight, aren’t you? Doubting my amazing snogging skills?!”

“Stop saying words that don’t exist, you mingy little twat.”

“It’s not _Twot_ its _twat_ with an ‘a’ you mong!”

“What do you think I’m fucking saying?!”

“You’re saying it wrong Michael!”

“Oh, shut the fuck up and kiss me again, idiot!”

oOo

“I love you Michael.”

“I love you too Gavin. Now go the fuck to sleep.”


	9. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dont you see? This is who I am, Ray! I'm a monster!"

Chapter Nine: Release

Ryan was ready. He had never been the sentimental kind of person, always travelling light, never really _owning_ much, so he scolded himself as his fingers ran over the bump in his wallet where the tiny folded up picture of Ray was.

He needed to stop being so attached if he was ever going to be able to move on. He had helped Ray to bed with a chuckle, promising that he wouldn’t receive more than a slight headache and a bump on the head.

Ray had invited him into his room to ‘talk’ but Ryan had refused, saying he really just needed to sleep.

“Okay Ry, I understand… long day and everything.” Ray had said. Ryan smiled at the way his voice slurred a little.  “You know,” Ray said, “I’ve been thinking.”

“What about?” Ryan asked.

“Maybe… maybe we should tell the crew… tell them about us. I know you I said… whatever, but- too many secrets, you know?”

Ryan sighed. He was selfish enough to want nothing more than what Ray was offering. He was selfish enough to consider it for a second, before smiling, and kissing Ray once on the forehead.

“Goodnight Ray.”

“G’night Ryan… I'll see you in the morning. Sleep good.”

“I'll see you in the morning. I’m really tired, so I’m just gonna go to sleep.”

This of course, was a lie. Ryan didn't sleep anymore, hardly ever. Even the two whole nights he had slept in Ray’s bed, with his arms wrapped tightly around the boy, he hadn’t caught more than three hours. Instead, he’d just lay there, watching Ray sleep in the least creepiest way possible.

He slung his duffel bag over his shoulder, and zipped his jacket all the way up, before opening his bedroom door slowly. All he had to do was make it through the corridor and down the stairs without waking anybody up. His mechanic had his bike ready and waiting for him around the corner. He just needed to get out.

Ryan pulled his hood up over his forehead, and pulled the front of his jacket up over his chin. He thought he’d save the skull mask until he got outside, just in case somebody woke up and thought he was a burglar or something.

He walked through the corridor silently, and stepped one foot on the staircase. It creaked slightly, but stopped and he sighed in relief.

“Ryan?”

Ryan turned and was met with Ray, standing at the top of the staircase, fingers bunched into the hem of his t-shirt nervously. Ryan threw his hood back, and let his jacket fall back down to his neck.

“Ray.” He sighed.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ray’s voice wasn’t groggy, or slurred. His tone was even, and his eyes squinted slightly until he put on his glasses.

“Leaving.”

“No you’re fucking not.” Ray ran forwards, stopping the gent from turning back to the stairs. He gripped Ryan’s wrist tightly, and slowly pulled the man back up the stairs. Ryan knew he was stronger than Ray, but didn't move away from his touch, instead letting the kid pull him back into his room.

Ray shut the door behind him, and rested against him. “Sit down.” He said, nodding to the bed. Ryan sighed, but obeyed, resting his bag next to him. Ray approached him slowly, before slipping into Ryan’s lap, knee’s resting either side of him.

“Why the fuck are you leaving?” he whispered.

Ryan looked down. “Ray, I don’t belong here. I’ve got to leave.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m dangerous.”

Ray scoffed. “That’s not true.” He said with a shake of his head, snaking his arms around Ryan’s neck. But the gents reflexes were quick, and he seized Ray’s wrists, moving them back down into his lap.

“It _is_.” He said “I’m not okay, Ray. And every second I spent here, is a second closer to me killing one of you. And I can't fucking live with that on my conscience Ray, I can’t”

“You wouldn’t Ryan, you couldn’t do it…” Ray said, ducking his head so his forehead rested against Ryan’s. “I believe in you, trust me.” He whispered, leaning in for a kiss. But Ryan pulled away, pushing Ray gently away from him.

“Ray, it’s not that I don’t trust you. I don’t trust myself. That’s why I’ve got to leave.”

“You’ve got to stay.”

“No, stop!” Ryan shouted, pushing Ray again, harder this time. Ray wobbled slightly, but regained his balance, standing up and taking a step backwards. But it wasn’t fear Ryan could see in his eyes.

“Just trust yourself Ryan!” Ray pleaded. Ryan shook his head.

“I can’t.” he spat through gritted teeth.

“Stop fucking running like a coward, you’re better than that! I know you Ryan! I know-”

Ray’s sentence was cut short by a strong hand wrapped around his throat. He choked once, before feeling himself being backed up against the door. He looked up into Ryan’s blue eyes, which were now as cold as ice.

“Ryan, _please.”_ he cried.

“Don’t you see Ray!” Ryan yelled, pushing against Ray’s neck harder. “This is the fucking monster I am, don’t you see that! I’m a fucking danger to everyone!”

“You’re not!” Ray breathed. “This isn’t you Ryan!”

“But it is!” Ryan slammed Ray’s back into the wall harder.

“Ryan,” Ray whimpered. “Please. Let me go.”

“You see Ray, this is me!” he grunted. “This is who I am! Are you scared of me Ray, are you?”

Ray desperately gasped for air, but Ryan was too strong, and his fingers gripped tighter around Ray’s throat.

“No.” he managed to choke out. Ryan stopped still and frowned, studying the boys face intently.

Then Ryan saw the way Ray’s face was taking on a purple hue, and the way his eyes were drooping. And the tears that just started to spill out of his eyes. Ryan flinched away, dropping Ray like he had been burnt, staring at his own hand in shock and disbelief as Ray choked against the doorframe, breathing heavily.

 “Fuck- Ray, I.” Ryan’s voice began to crumble. “I didn’t realise.”

Ray just shook his head. “It’s okay. Ryan, it’s okay.” He said, trying to reach forwards for the gent. But Ryan flinched away from his touch.

“Ray, stop! Don’t you see? I’m a monster.”

Ray shook his head again, his fingers still lightly rubbing at his neck. “You’re not.” He coughed.

Ryan breathed, in and out deeply, before he stepped forwards to Ray again, this time letting his hands rest lightly either side of the boy. Ray leant up to try to kiss Ryan again, but the gent just dropped his head, shaking it. He could feel himself physically trembling.

“Why aren’t you scared of me?” he asked, voice wobbling. “I am.”

Ray felt himself begin to cry harder as he saw the tears welling up in Ryan’s eyes. He reached up gently, swiping them away with the pad of his thumb. But it didn't help, Ryan continued to cry silently, before he finally let himself fall, his face burying into Ray’s neck.

“I could never be scared of you Ryan, even if I should be. I don’t know what it is but… I believe in you, okay? Now please, _please_ don’t leave. Don’t leave me.” He pleaded, rocking the two back and forth. Ryan’s face didn't turn from the boy’s neck, but he nodded slightly, and Ray caught his muffled reply.

“Okay. I won’t… I won’t leave you.”

oOo

Ray had never seen Ryan look so peaceful as when he was sleeping. The gent had ended up falling asleep next to him, still clutching Ray’s waist tightly. Ray was torn between staying there forever, lying in Ryan’s warm grasp, or getting up before one of the others came looking and found the two wrapped up together in Ray’s bed.

But then, would the rest of the group finding out about them be such a bad thing?

Then Ray realised just how badly he actually needed to pee, and reluctantly wriggled away from Ryan, who was actually still fast asleep. Ryan mumbled something incomprehensible in his sleep as Ray got up, before turning over, facing the other direction. Ray just smirked, and shook his head before pulling on a pair of sweat pants and grabbing his hoodie off his drawer. He glanced in the mirror on his wall, wincing at the dark bruises beginning to form around his throat. He reached to touch one gently, wincing again at the pain. Ray slipped his purpled hoodie on, zipping it up all the way to cover his neck, and tossing the hood over his head.

He used the bathroom quickly, glancing up at the clock Geoff insisted on having in every room of the house and noting how late into the morning it was. Sooner or later someone was going to come looking for him and Ryan.

Ray washed his hands and jogged down the stairs, entering the kitchen. Jack was sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal, whilst Gavin and Michael were cuddled up together on the couch behind Jack, giggling and flicking bits of cereal at each other.

Ray caught eyes with Jack and raised an eyebrow at the two on the couch. Jack just shrugged.

“Guessing you guys made up then?” Ray asked. But, he was met with no reply, because Michael had his face buried in Gavin’s neck, lightly sucking marks into the Brit’s collarbone, whilst Gain was giggling, and half-heartedly trying to push him away.

Ray just rolled his eyes, and joined Jack at the table, pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

“You sleep okay, Ray?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, actually. Better than I have in a while.”

“Can you little assholes stop fucking on the couch please!” Came Geoff’s voice as the gent entered the room. He rolled his eyes at Michael and Gavin, who both just glared at him as he walked past, moving to the kitchen counter to pour himself a coffee.

“Don’t you want any liquor in that?” Jack deadpanned.

“I’m on a cleanse.” Geoff mumbled grumpily, taking a swig. The room fell silent, except for the sounds of Michael and Gavin whispering to each other on the couch and Ray and Jack chewing. But it wasn’t an awkward silence, it was a comfortable silence.

“Hey, has anyone seen Ryan yet this morning?” Geoff asked. “He doesn’t usually sleep this long and-”

“He's still asleep.” Ray answered. He then stiffened when he felt four pairs of eyes trained on him.

“-and, what I was going to say was that he isn’t in his room...”

“Uh…”

Michael and Gavin both remained silent, but shared a glance, wondering how Ray was going to get himself out of this one.

“So… how do you know he’s asleep?” Jack asked. Ray shrugged.

“Just... uh, I don’t know. Ryan, he’s crazy- right? Does loads of… uh, random shit. Like- sleeping, and shit. You know?” Ray rambled nervously, staring into his cereal.

“Ray.” Geoff said. Ray looked up.

“Are you trying not to tell us that Ryan isn’t in his room because he’s asleep in your bed?”

Ray blushed bright red, and said nothing, turning his stared back to his cereal, which had long turned soggy in the now-chocolatey milk.

“Oh my God, you are!” Geoff exclaimed. “You’re fucking Ryan, I knew it!”

“Geoff…” Ray whined, the reddening in his cheeks spreading to his neck.

Geoff just laughed. “I fucking knew something was going on with you two!”

“Wow! What? Ray and Ryan! That’s… that’s bloody, uh, right- surprising! Top!” Gavin stuttered.

“Yeah,” Michael agreed. “Fucking, who would have guessed that one? Not me, that’s for sure!”

Geoff visibly deflated. “You assholes knew?”

“Maybe.” Gavin mumbled.

“Knew what?” Ryan asked, walking into the room and picking an apple off the counter, biting into it with a crunch.

“That you’re fucking Ray.” Jack said, smirking.

Ryan spluttered, choking slightly on the apple he was mid-swallowing and a red blush spread across his cheeks.

“Surprise?” Ray said, swallowing.

There was a moment where Ray was worried Ryan was going to do something really dumb. Like really, _really_ dumb. He swallowed again,and he cleched his spoon in his hand tighter.

Then, Ryan laughed.

He laughed loudly, and walked towards Ray, taking a seat at the table next to him. His arm rested loosely around Ray’s shoulders, and he took another bite from his apple.

“I guess the cat’s out of the bag then.” He said with a shrug.

“You’re taking this remarkably well.” Ray mumbled, rasing an eyebrow.

“Well, allthought we’re all dumb as fuck, we’re also pretty smart. We run the most successful gang in Los Santos. So I figured they’d find out sooner or later.”

Geoff snorted at this, before throwing a glass of cold water over Michael and Gavin, who had resumed their couch actions. Gavin squealed, and Michael practically roared, the two lads darting out of the room, chasing Geoff. Jack just rolled his eyes, collecting up the plates and moving to the sink to wash up, leaving Ray and Ryan alone at the table.

“Fair enough,” Ray said, “I just, you know, thought you wanted to keep things… quiet. I asked you… last night and, you didn't reply.”

“Forget about that.” Ryan said “I was wrong. I want everyone to know you're mine.” He smirked, nosing Ray’s temple. Ray didn't reply, and Ryan stopped. “Uh, if that’s okay with you, of course.” He added.

rRay laughed. “Of course it is, idiot.” He leant his face up and kissed Ryan once on the lips, smiling as he did so. Across the room, Jack pretended to vomit.

“Don’t do a Michael-and-Gavin, please.” He said. Ray blushed a little and laughed as Ryan called back, “Fuck off and get laid, Jack!” with a grin. Jack just glared at him, and said nothing, but Ray could almost swear he saw a small smile on the gents face.

oOo

Ray was silently flicking through Netflix alone in the main TV room, when Gavin came bounding in, flopping on the black leather sofa beside him.

“Alright X-Ray?” He asked.

Ray smiled. “I’m good Vav, what about you?”

“I’m top, actually!”

“Getting on well with Michael again I guess?” Ray asked with a smirk, glancing at the hickey’s littering Gavin’s neck. The Brit blushed, rubbing his neck with his hand.

“Uh, yeah. We made up.” He mumbled.

“I can tell.” Ray laughed, pulling his hoodie strings a little tighter.

“Well, what about you with Ryan then, eh?” Gavin asked. “He was in your bed last night, and now you’ve got you’re hoodie pulled so tightly I doubt you can even breathe!”

Ray looked down at his hands. “It’s uh, it wasn’t like that.”

“Oh come on Ray! I'll let you take the mick out of me, but you’ve gotta be fair and show me yours!” Gavin laughed, reaching for the hood of Ray’s hoodie. But, Ray flinched backwards, scooting down the couch away from Gavin.

“Don’t.”

“Ray?” Gavin retracted his hands to his lap, but followed Ray to the other end of the sofa, sitting beside him.

“Just leave it Gavin. Things with Ryan, it’s… complicated.”

“Didn't seem complicated in the kitchen this morning.” Gavin said. Ray didn't reply, and Gavin raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Ray, what are you hiding?”

“It’s nothing!” Ray said, but it was too late. Gavin took him off guard, yanking his hood down, revealing his neck. Gavin gasped at the fingertip shaped bruised formed around Ray’s throat.

“Oh, Ray- he didn't.”

“Fucking leave it Gavin- it isn’t what you think.” Ray said, pulling his hood back up.

“He hurt you!” Gavin exclaimed.

“Keep your fucking voice down!” Ray hissed. “It’s not like that, I swear!”

“Then what is it, Ray?!”

“We- we had an argument, sort of. Last night.”

Gavin scoffed. “Me and Michael have argued loads, Ray, but he’s never put his hands on me! He wouldn’t dare!”

“I told you, it isn’t like that!” Ray shouted.

“Then what is it like?!” Gavin shouted back. Ray sighed, and glanced to the door, vowing nobody was near enough to hear them.

“You wouldn’t understand.” He mumbled.

“Try me.” Gavin said. Ray looked into the eyes of the British idiot that was practically his other best friend. Everything Gavin usually said was brought along with a squeal and a smirk. Ray had never seen him look so… _serious._ He sighed.

“Last night, Ryan was gonna leave.” He said. “Even after everything he… he thought we’d be better off with him gone, I guess. But, I caught him, sneaking out. And I was trying to tell him that, he didn’t _need_ to go, that he needed to trust himself.” He explained.

“And what happened after that?” Gavin asked, voice a whisper.

“He got… he got locked on. I guess. He grabbed me by the throat, pushed me against the wall, and it felt like… like I was drowning, man. And he was practically screaming, saying that this was him and I should be afraid of him and all this shit but… I wasn’t. Even then, with his hands wrapped around my neck, I still fucking loved him Gavin. And I trusted him. I wasn’t scared.

“And then, I guess he realised what he was doing and he let go. And then… well, we talked, for a bit. And then slept. And that was it.”

“Oh, Ray.” Gavin sighed, reaching his arm out to cradle his friend, letting Ray’s head rest against his bony shoulder. “You’re in a right pickle, aren’t you?” he asked.

Ray half-laughed. “I guess I am. But, I _do_ love him Gavin. More than anything.”

“I know.”

“You do?” Ray asked.

“I’m going out with Michael, remember?” Gavin chuckled. “And you know what Michael’s like, Ray. Like a short bloody fuse. He’s said horrible things to me, Ray, when he’s been angry. He’s never put his hands on me, but he knows how to utterly destroy me with his words. He knows what makes me tick, I guess. But even still, I’d never leave him.”

Ray sighed. “Well. We’re just the fucking poster-kids for unhealthy relationships, aren’t we?” he laughed.

“People never understand how me and Michael work. And likeliness is- they’ll probably never understand how you and Ryan work either. They’ll say you're mad for staying with him. But you will, because you can’t even remember what your life was like before him. And maybe you don’t want to.”

oOo

Ray and Gavin had sat together, in a companiable silence for what could have been hours. But, eventually, Geoff came in and told the two of them to join him in the meeting room.

The five of them sat at the table, eyes trained on Geoff, who stood at the front of the group.

“I just… I just wanted you guys to know that this is it.” He said. “Last night before the heist.”

“It’s tomorrow?!”

“What the fuck Geoff!”

“Are we even ready?”

“Yeah, I know, I’m an asshole.” Geoff said with a small smile. “I just wanted you guys to know that this could be your last night. So spend it wisely.”

oOo

How they ended up here, Geoff will never know.

Jack sat in the armchair, his monitor and Xbox balanced on a foldaway desk in front of him. Geoff was beside him on the sofa, his screen being the main one. _I paid for it, assholes._ He had said.

Michael sat at the other end of the sofa, after claiming the second big screen, and Gavin sat on the floor between his knees, his monitor resting on the floor in front of him.

Ryan and Ray were at the other side, on the loveseat, Ray curled into the gents lap, the two focusing on side by-side monitors as the hanging chair swung gently. Ryan’s controlled rested in Ray’s lap, and Ray held his mid-air, arms locked. How he didn't get cramp, Geoff would never know.

The six of them sat around the media room, just like old times, playing video games. They played their way through countless titles, laughing and joking and annoying each other. They teamed up, broke loyalties, killed each other countless amounts of times.

And they laughed. Geoff laughed more than he had in a long, long time. And eventually, when the clock hit two AM, they logged out, folded up their equipment, and went their separate ways.

There would be no joking about when morning came. Everything would be prep work and recon and dressing up in black and planning every back-up escape in the book.

Tonight would be their last chance to indulge in pleasure, maybe forever.

This time with Ryan, was gentle. Ryan worshipped every inch of Ray’s body, his fingertips dancing across the boy’s skin. Ryan dragged noises out of Ray that he didn't realise he was capable of making. Ryan brushed his fingers over the bruising across Ray’s throat lightly, and even if he didn't _say_ anything, he made sure Ray knew he was so _so_ sorry.

There was no point in slowing down their relationship anymore. They didn't know how long they had left.

Down the garden, Michael and Gavin didn’t fuck, for once. For hours they laid together outside, in the grass, just looking up at the stars. Michael told Gavin about how constellations were the only things he ever paid attention to in school, and held Gavin’s hand in his tightly as he traced patterns in the sky. Gavin’s eyes lit up as he found himself submerged in a whole other world up in the sky he never knew existed. Thousands of stories, some yet untold.

Michael traced a heart with the stars in the sky. He told Gavin it was their constellation.

Jack laid awake in his bed, running over the plan in his mind again and again, making sure every detail was fixed, ever possibly kink ironed out. He knew he wouldn’t sleep much that night with his mind so active.

And hour into his thought, he heard the bedroom door creak open. Geoff stood in the doorframe, almost completely silhouetted by the lack of light, except for his tattoos. Jack would never understand how they glowed so brightly.

“Can't sleep?” he asked. Geoff shook his head.

“Do you wanna sleep in here?”

Silently, Geoff nodded, before climbing into the bed next to Jack. The two didn't touch, didn't speak, just enjoyed each other’s silent company as they stared at the black of the ceiling.

Eventually, Jack broke the silence.

“You’re not drunk, are you?” he asked. Geoff sighed.

“I’ve been sober for three day’s straight.”

Jack wanted to congratulate the man to his left, he wanted to grin and share the victory. But Geoff didn't make it feel like a victory. So Jack said nothing.

The two eventually fell into a deep sleep, and somehow, Geoff’s hand found its way into Jack's, and held on tightly.


	10. Reckoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Heist

Chapter Nine: Reckoning

“You better fucking wait for my call Ryan.” Jack said for the third time, voice stern and unwavering. Ryan huffed, rolling his eyes.

“I am.” He said, also for the third time. His grip on his gun was tight, and the security gurd was still in sight, standing in the alley. The poor man couldn’t be more unprepared if he tried, leaning casually against the wall and smoking a cigarette. Ryan’s own throat itched for nictone, but he supressed the urge.

“And make sure you cut his radio.”

“I _know._ ”

“Just checking.”

Ryan sighed again, but didn't comment. Jack was a control freak, not that he’d ever admit it. For him, everything had to go perfectly.

Ryans strategy was often messier, more unpredictable then that. He looked up to the building across the street where he could just make out Ray, perched like an eagle on the roof. He smiled to himself.

“You okay up there Ray?”

“Better than ever.” Came the Peurot Rican’s blunt reply. But Ryan’s eyesight was good, and he could see the slight smirk on the boy’s face. He grinned.

“Fucking flirt later.” Jack snapped “Gavin and Geoff,” he asled “are you ready to go in?”

“Bloody ready as I'll ever be.”

“Michael, you in the car?”

“I’m in the car.”

“Right.”

“Can I go?” Ryan whined, “Can we start?”

Jack ignored him.

“Ray, be ready- because an alarm alerting the cops will probably trip as soon as Geoff and Gavin bust into the main area of the back, even though Kerry’s hacking the security and Lindsay’s already down there, manually cracking the safe.”

“I’m ready Jack.”

“Right- good.”

“Can I _go_ now, please?” Ryan pleaded, finding himself becoming bored with all the waiting. He pulled his skull mask down over his face, gun itching in his hands.

There was a beat before Jack’s voice came back to him in his ear.

“Okay Ryan. Go.”

As soon as he was given the word, Ryan felt a switch flip insdie of him. This was the person he became every time the heist started. There were no emotional attachments to anybody, not the civillians, not the crew. There was a job, that he would get done. No matter what the costs.

That was the reason Geoff had received a gun to the face in his heist in front of the armoured truck. The gent had a case of the shakes from staying off the booze for a night, and he was getting slow. Ryan couldn’t handle slow, he needed fast.

He mused over this as he tied the unconscious guards wrists with zipties, and stepped on his radio, smashing it. He could hear Gavin and Geoff’s shouts at the civillians inside, and had that same curling feeling in his stomach telling him the cops would be there, and soon.

Then he heard the sirens. He could see Michael peeking out from one of the buildings opposite him, mini-gun fired up, taking out cop after cop on the street. Surprisingly, there were no helicopters.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t so much of a surprise, as Kerry had hacked into the police’s GPS system, and all the helicopters were being diverted to Mount. Chilliad.

Ryan slipped in through a window by the side of the bank, giving one last look to Ray, who was packing up his sniper equipment. The approach of a lone gunman on the building had become obvious, after their third or fourth time doing it. This was a time for change.

Ray and Ryan would slip into the bank, as Geoff and Gavin tagged out, and took to destroying cops in the street. Ryan jumped through the window just as he saw Geoff and Gavin running out from another, and smiled to himself at their perfect timing. Nobody was slowing him down, not this time.

oOo

Lindsay was waiting for him, door to the giant vault sitting open. She seemed remarkably calm herself, leant back against the cool, metal wall, hands in the pockets of her black jeans. Ryan smiled.

“Excellent work Tuggey.” He joked.

Lindsay just smirked and saluted him, before disappearing back in the shadows. A few black duffel bags laid at the entrance, and Ryan stepped into the room, breathing in the scent of fresh dollar bills.

“Holy fucking shit.” A voice said.

Ryan turned to see Ray, standing in the doorway of the vault. He stepped over the threshold, climbing inside and pulling his mask up so it sat on the top of his head. Ryan did the same, and smiled.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much cash.” Ray said, immediately scooping up a few wads and tossing them into the bags.

“We’ve gotta be fast.” Ryan said. “They can’t hold off the cops for ever, and Jack’s waiting for us in the getaway vehicle.”

Ray just shrugged. “Nah. I reckon we’ve got a little time.”

Ryan’s teeth gritted as he picked up the pace, stuffing the money in faster. “No Ray, we really don’t.” he said, feeling his fists clench. Soemthig  was happening to him. He could feel a curling in his gut, but it wasn’t a familiar one. There was a burning, painful in the back of his head. Ryan winced.

“Ry, you okay?” Ray asked, stepping closer. He placed his hand on top of Ryan’s gently, in an effort to calm the older man, but Ryan just pulled away, harshly.

“Ray.” He panted. “You need to get the fuck out of here. Now.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Ray asked, picking up more money and putting it into the bag.

“Just leave!”

“Ryan, no offence but- you're acting sort of crazy right now.” Ray’s tone of voice made it sound as if he was joking. But the concern in his eyes sold a different story.

Everything for Ryan went in a blur. Ray was too slow, to laid back. He wasn’t prepared. None of them were prepared. Ryan would just be better off on his own. He could leave. He could leave right now, take the cash and run. They'd never find him. The only person to see him go would be.

Ray had to go.

Suddenly, Ryan opened his eyes. And his gun already had the safety disabled, and was resting against Ray’s temple. But the kid- no, the _man_ didn't flinch. He stared Ryan straight in the eye, and completely gone was the fear, the uncertainty. Ray had never looked more serious in his life.

“Ryan.” He said. “Put the gun down.”

Ryan’s gun shook violently in his hands, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t pull it away. It was like two sides of him were battling each other, one itching to pull the trigger, one stepping away and just looking at Ray.

He looked so fucking beautiful.

“I don’t think I can.” Ryan whispered, but it sounded more pained than menacing. His hand continued to shake, and Ray’s arm slowly raised up, before his hand settled on top of the gun gently.

“Then do it.” He said, swallowing thickly. “Pull the trigger.”

“No, Ray!” Ryan pleaded, as Ray’s fingers curled around his, holding the gun.

“If you can really do it Ryan… you should kill me. Just show me that you can.” Ray said. His grip tightened around Ryan’s hand.

And suddenly everything went in slowmotion. The trigger released the smallest fraction of an amount, and suddenly, Ryan felt strength. He felt invigorated. His eyes snapped open and he felt like he could finally _see_ for the first time in his entire life.

The gun went off, but not in Ray’s skull. It his the other side of the wall, richoetig off the steel and hitting a pile of cash on the other side of the room. The pair of them exhaled, relieved before Ryan swooped down and pulled Ray into a bear hug, one hand snaking into his thick black hair.

“I knew it.” Ray sobbed. “I knew you couldn’t do it.”

“I’m so sorry.” Ryan cried.

“Shhhh,” Ray soothed him. “It’s okay Ryan. You couldn’t do it- you, you never could.”

“ _What the fuck’s going on with you two, hurry up and get out of there!”_ came Jack’s panicked voice. Ray and Ryan parted, before switching back into mission mode, scooping up as much cash as they could, before zipping up the duffel bags, and climbing out of the vault.

“Let’s go.”

oOo

Geoff and Gavin stood back to back in the alley, darting round in intervals and shooting at the cops from the other side of the street. The cops were slowly gathering forces and zoning in on them, but Mihcael took them out quickly from his position.

Geoff winced due to the pain in his upper arm. He knew he had been clipped a few times, but they were just grazes from bullets. Except for one. One, he had definitely felt gone in. and _fuck_ it _hurt_.

Gavin lifted his mask (it was too late to play pretend anymore, the cops knew who the culprit’s really were) and looked over to Geoff.

“You alright Geoffrey?” he shouted over the fire of his gun.

“Yeah.” Geoff replied, but the frown on his face didn't seem to convincing.

“You should go.” Gavin called back. Geoff stopped shooting, and turned to the Brit.

“Gav, I can’t leave you here!”

“Geoff, you’re hurt! I’m not gonna let you faint from blood loss, or anything like that, am I? I'll be alriht here, and Michael’s on the other side of the street! You go back to Jack, and I'll meet you back in the car when everything’s clear, alright?”

“No way!” Geoff shouted, leaning back around briefly, sending bullets through the chests of three policemen. “I’m not leaving you alone.”

“I'll cover him.”

The two turned to see Lindsay, pulling a disassembled AK-47 from her bag and quickly piecing it together as she crouched by a dumpster. She then reached into her bag, pulling a black beanie on her head.

“Gavin’s right. You should go before you get hurt even worse.”

Geoff looked from Lindsay to Gavin, and then back to the cops on the street. Then, he looked at his arm, and the blood that guhed from it, drenching the sleeve of his jacket. Silently, he nodded, retreating his gun.

He locked eyes with Gavin. “I'll see you back in the car.”

“Not if I see you first.” Gavin grinned. It sounded casual enough, but really- it was a promise. A promise that Gavin would keep himself safe and Geoff would go and get help. A promise that they were bto going to make it through this, together _or_ apart.

“Now go!” Lindsay called. In a second, she and Geoff switched positions so she was leant against the wall opposite Gavin. She leaned round, driving bullets into a police car. Gavin watched her count down slowly from five under her breath, finger not stalling on the trigger. She hit one, and the car exploded.

“Nice one!” He yelled. Lindsay turned to look at him, but she didn't match his grin. There was almost no familiarity in her eyes when she looked at Gavin. Her face remained stony.

Gavin frowned as he studied her. Lindsay’s eyes were torn away from him, and she looked past him, into the cops on his side of the street. And then he saw the panic register in her face. He leant around the side of the wall at the exact moment she screamed ‘ _No_!’, sprinting towards him and dragging him back by the arm. But it was too late.

Gavin fell backwards, and it felt like time had just slowed down. The pain in his gut started dull, but in a second blossomed into agony, tearing through his body. He screamed as his head crashed into the pavement, the earpiece rolling out of his ear and smashing.

As his vision began to blur, he saw the blue and red lights of the sirens, coming closer. Lindsay re-loaded, but the look in her eyes showed that she knew she wasn’t going to be able to stop them.

“Gavin?! Gavin! Are you there?” Jack shouted. Michael froze, ducking back into cover. He looked over to Gavin’s position across the street, but all he could see was Lindsay, battling it out with what seemed like hundreds of cops, swarming around the entrance to the alley.

He had been zoned out, mowing down ever police officer in sight, he hadn’t even realised Geoff had gone back to the car. he hid in the shadows, and spoke through his mic.

“Gav? You there?!”

“Michael- his signal’s down.” Jack said. Michael thought he could hear furious typing from Jack’s end as his heart sunk into his stomach.

“Lindsay!” he called into the earpiece. He watched her from across the street, turn, and look directly in his eyes.

“Man down.” She said, before ripping the earpiece from her head and tossing it into the street.

Michael ran like he could fly around the back of the building he was next to. He sprinted across the street, behind the police officers who had all turned and trained their guns on the alley where Lindsay resided, so he used the small cover he had to make it across to the oppsosite building.

He ran through the backstreets,  mini-gun hitting against his lower back as his feet hit the ground.

“Michael! Go to Gavin, and Lindsay, we’re going to pick Ray and Ryan up now! You need to get to that alley so we can collect you!” Jack shouted.

“On it.” Michael replied, and somehow, he made his body move faster. Gavin would be fine, he told himself. He probably got hit in the arm or the leg. Gavin would be okay. He was always okay.

And then he heard the scream.

Michael ran faster than he’d ever run, and rounded the corner to see Gavin, laid out on the gravel, blood flowing from his abdomen. He could hear him crying, shouting, but Michael couldn’t make the words out. It felt like he was underwater as he sprinted towards Gavin’s bdoy, rounded the corner to where he lay, but then he stopped.

There were cops filling up at the end of the alley, and if he wasn’t carefull, he was going to get shot too. And he culdnt help Gavin if he was fucking dead. He leant back around the wall, taking cover.

It didn't matter if his boi had suddenly gone silent, and Michael ciuldnt see him from his position anymore.

Because then he remembered Lindsay was also in the alleyway.

Michael peeked around the side for a second, to see a figure, crouched on her knees in a helicopter’s spotligjt (it was about time the choppers had shown up). Her hands were thrown behind her head, and Michael could barely see her for a second before she was swallowed by a sea of cops.

The two locked eyes for a single second, and she did nothing more than nod, before her eyes rolled back into her skull, and she went limp on the floor. The commotion caused the cops to swarm around her for long enough for Michael to step into the alley.

He almost stepped on Gavin, who had crawled, broken and bloody all the way to the end.

“Shit.”

This brought Michael back to reality. He silently dragged Gavin up, caming his bhand over his mouth to mute his pained scream, and slung his boyfriend over his shoulder, before sprinting away, as far away as he could get from the building. A black car stopped him before he could get too far, and Michael panicked for a second, before the window rolled down and Geoff’s panicked face came into view.

“We need to go.” Michael yelled, just as Gavin coughed up a pile of blood, and passed out on Michael’s shoulder, unconscious.

oOo

The mood in the van was hectic as Jack sped them through the streets of Los Santos.

“I’M FUCKING TELLING YOU, WE NEED TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL.” Michael yelled for the fourth time, desperately cradling Gavin’s body as Ray used his jacket to apply pressure to the bullet wound.

“WE CAN’T GO TO THE HOSPITAL,” Jack repeated “BECAUSE THEY’LL FUCKING ARREST US.”

“I DON’T CARE.”

“WE NEED TO LOSE THE COPS.”

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE COPS,” Michael finally roared, tears spilling down his cheeks. He looked down at Gavin. “I'll go to jail for a thousand fucking years before I let him die Jack, now _please_ , I’m begging you- take us to the fucking hospital.”

Silence fell.

“I know a place we can go.” Ryan said. “Jack, take a left here.”

oOo

It didn't look like a hospital.

It looked like a fucking shack in the middle of the mountain county up in the far north of Los Santos. There was no way the cops were going to look for them up here, thank fuck.

Michael carried Gavin into the building, following closely behind Ryan, who spoke to a man none of them recognised in hushed tones. Ray, who had hearing like a hawk, recognised some of the dialogue as a broken form of Russian.

A few people emerged with a stretcher, and Gavin’s body was taken into a room. Michael rushed to follow him, but was stopped by Ryan’s hand on his shoulder.

“They’re taking him into theatre. He needs surgery, Michael. You can’t go with him.” Looking at Michael’s pained expression, he added. “I’m sorry.”

“You're fucking sorry?” Michael asked, but gone was the bite in his voice. Instead, for once,he was quiet. He sounded defeated. “I’m the one who should be fucking sorry. It was my fault he got hurt.”

The images of Lindsay, collapsing into a heap onto the cold gravel replayed in Michael’s mind a few times, tuning out Jack’s voice, telling him that it wasn’t his fault, Gavin wasn’t his responsibility.

Jack was a liar. Gavin was absolutely Michael’s respsonsibility. Always had been. Always would be.

oOo

Three hours passed.

Three hours of the five of them, sat in silence in the makeshift waiting area, just waiting. Geoff, who had actually received a few bullet wounds himself, in the arm, didn't go in for treatement. He sat next to Jack, who cleaned his wounds with a first aid kit and stitched him up. It hurt, but he didn't say so. Michael was laid out into his lap, and ran his fingers through the lad’s hair, soothingly. Michael had finally stopped crying, which he hoped was a good sign.

Ryan sat opposite them, the only person who could apparently communicate with the staff, and had his hand linked with Ray’s tightly, the boy resting his head against Ryan’s chest. His eyes were closed, but he wasn’t asleep. His eyes burned from the bright white of the wallpaper and the scent of money was revolting on his hands.

He felt unclean.

Michael sniffed, and Geoff stroked his hair again, gently. “He’s going to make it buddy, I swear.” He said.

It didn't matter that none of them 100% believed it.

A man with blood running up the sleeves of his white coat stepped into the waiting room, and walked over to Ryan. The two shared a hushed conversation, and eventually, Ryan nodded. The man walked away, and Ryan looked over to Geoff.

“He’s made it out of surgery. He’s awake.”

Michael bolted from his seat, running in the direction they had taken Gavin. Ryan shouted the room number down the hall after him, but made no effort to move. Ray went to follow Michael, but Ryan pulled him back.

“I think they need a second.” He said.

He was right. As soon as Michael opened the door to Gavin’s room, and saw thE Brit, laid on the bed with a weak smile, he burst into tears again. He rushed to Gavin’s bedside, and clutched his hand tightly.

“Crying over silly old me, Michael?” Gavin asked with a sniff. Michael just nodded, and pushed Gavin’s hand to his lips, kissing it over and over.

“Fuck. I thought I lost you.” He mumbled into Gavin’s palm. Gavin laughed, but then stopped, wincing as he pulled at his stitching.

“You’re never getting rid of me Michael. Wherever you go, I follow, remember?”

“Yeah.” Michael choked out. “I remember.”

The room became silent again for a while, except for the buzzing and ticking of the machines around them. Michael just cluthed Gavin’s hand tighter, and said nothing.

“Lindsay really saved my ass, you know.” Gavin said. “Bullet came whizzing past, and she pushed me out the way. I mean, it still got me, but I’d rather a wound to tummy then a shot through the heart.”

Michael stiffened. “I-Gav, she- she didn't… I don’t think she-”

“She didn't?” Gavin asked. Michael shook his head no. Gavin hung his head, frowning.

“Fucking shit.” He muttered under his breath.

Before Michael could elaborate, he heard a knock on the door. “Come in.” he called.

Geoff, Jack, Ryan and Ray all entered the room, and Gavin smiled weakly.

“Hey buddy.” Geoff said, voice thick with tears. His eyes were rimmed red, and his moustache was skewed. “You feeling better?” he asked.

“Top.” Gavin coughed, but he smiled anyway.

“I’m so fucking sorry I didn't protect you.” Geoff said, moving to the other side of Gavin’s bed. “I should never have left you in the alley.”

“Geoffrey, will you kindly shut the fuck up.” Gavin said, smiling. “I’m fine, aren’t i? it isn’t your fault I'm a complete mong.”

Geoff didn't reply, just shook his head with a smile, and ran his fingers through Gavin’s hair.

“We did it though, didn't we?” Gavin said, looking to the other three before turning back to Geoff. “We fucking pulled it off.” He smiled.

“Yeah buddy.” Geoff said. “Yeah, we fucking did.”


	11. Rewind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end. (Except for the epilogue, of course)

Chapter Ten: Rewind.

The cash they made was evenly split between the seven of them, briefcases delivered by one of Geoff’s unnamed associates to the hospital as soon as Gavin was deemed well enough to be released.

Jack asked Geoff why didn't he just drop the cases off back at 636. Geoff simply shook his head, but smiled. He knew how this was going to go. How this was always going to go.

Gavin and Michael left the hospital hand in hand, exchanging hugs with the rest of the group, Gavin clutching to Geoff for even longer and Michael surprising everyone, by hugging Ryan the tightest. Not that that had anything to do with the stern whisper of “Hurt Ray again and you’re fucking dead, you hear me Haywood?”

They took their cash (not that it was ever really about the money for any of them) and disappeared down the dusty road in Michael’s chrome adder, leaving behind nothing but black tyre streaks half-hearted promises to stay in touch. By the strength of Gavin’s hug, Geoff didn't count on it. But surprisingly, that was okay.

Ryan and Ray left next, Ray hopping on the back of Ryan’s motorbike, entirely-too-big helmet strapped around his head. Ryan whispered to him that he looked adorable, and with a huge grin and a blush, Ray told him to shut the fuck up. Geoff waved them off with a smile and a promise that he was always rooting for them. He didn't actually know where they were headed, but he was sure they’d find their home somewhere new. Maybe out of America considering Ryan and Ray had both always loved to travel, never settling in the same place twice.

They paid Kerry off his money for the heist, and a cab stopped down the end of the street to pick him up.

“You did good, kid.” Was the last thing Geoff said to him, ruffling his hair like a child. Kerry just smiled, and disappeared into the back of the taxi. He had a life to get back to, after all.

This just left Geoff and Jack, sitting on the roadside with their briefcases, waiting for Jack’s mechanic to deliver his car

“So where are we gonna go?” Jack asked. “Just, back home, after all this?”

Geoff shrugged. “We can go anywhere we want. And I don’t know about you, but I’m dying for a drink.”

Jack snorted. “You’re not going to turn all alcoholic on me again, are you?” he asked.

Geoff shook his head. “Jack- I used to drink because I was sad and I thought it would make me feel better. But now I realise that that sadness is never going to go away. I got my heart ripped from my chest and torn into little pieces, and that pain- it’ll never fade. But do you know what?”

Jack frowned. “What?”

“I’ve just gotta fucking deal with it.”

Jack laughed once, and shook his head. “Besides,” Geoff added “It’s not the last Los Santos has seen of the Fake AH Crew… not by a longshot.

“How’d you know they’ll be back?” Jack asked, tracing a circle in the dusty ground with his fingertip.

Geoff smiled, “Oh, they’ll be back.”

“When?”

Geoff looked at his best friend. He stared him straight in the eyes, and grinned. “Whenever we need them to be.”


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story isn't over.

EPILOUGE

“You were sloppy.”

“I know, Sir.”

“Getting _caught_ like that!”

“I know, Sir.”

“By the fucking _LSPD,_ I thought we trained you better than that!”

“I’m sorry, sir.” She spits through gritted teeth. She is rewarded by a sharp smack across the face, btu she doesn't flinch. Doesn't cry.

“What were you _thinking_? Getting mixed up with the fucking Fake AH crew again?”

“I don’t know, Sir.”

“Oh, _I_ know- you were going after you're little boyfriend again, weren’t you?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend, Sir.”

A cold laugh. “Maybe you don’t anymore, but he does _honey_. You’re barking up the _wrong_ tree on that one.”

“I’m sorry, Sir.”

“No you’re not, Tuggey. Not really. Not _yet_.”

“I beg your pardon, Sir?”

“You’re not sorry, _now_ , Agent Tuggey. But you will be.”

 A piercing scream echoes off of steel walls. Lindsay wonders if this is the worst pain she has ever experienced. It isn’t.

Not yet.

 

 


	13. AUTHORS NOTE

JUST A QUICK NOTE TO SAY...

 

Hello! Thank you for being a reader/fan of Guns N' Roses. This is a quick note to say that the sequel (yeah; the one that's existed in my mind since Guns N' Roses was posted) is on it's way!

 

It's looking to be around 7 or so chapters long (not as long as Guns N' Roses 1) and the working title is simply "Guns N' Roses: Vol 2 - No Rest For The Wicked". Title could change, depending on if I have a crazy brainwave.

 

So yeah, lots of Raywood, Mavin... oh yeah, and WHAT WENT ON WHEN GNR 1 ENDED. LINDSAY. SHE'S ON HER WAY.

 

This is basically a chance for all you readers out there to maybe re-read the fic one more time, share it with your friends/followers, and is your last chance to comment what yoU possibly predict for Vol 2!!

 

And also just a huge thank you to everyone who enjoyed this, left kudos and commented. This was one of my first RT/AH fics and I worked really hard on it. Because I'm a loser. 

 

So yeah, 

Thanks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, check out my other fics? Kudos/Comments mean the world to me. <3
> 
> Thanks.


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